No Safe Harbor
by amymorgan
Summary: The world Edward and Bella knew has changed. Edward has saved Bella from imminent danger from a deadly virus, but will they be safe from their own feelings in a world gone mad with suffering and despair? ExB, Carlisle, Esme, Alice,Jasper.
1. Chapter 1 The New Plague

A/N: So begins my first chaptered fiction story. I hope no one is put off by the realistic threat of the subject matter. I loved biology in high school and it was one of my my majors in University. Thanks to **MissAlex, author of Rebel Without a Cause, **for being the Beta on this chapter. She prevented this chapter from being several very long paragraphs. Mr. Barry, my HS chemistry teacher at Balboa High, wherever you are, you started all of this. You made science fun, you honored students by never insulting our intelligence. I would also like to acknowledge **T****he Fallout** author **OCDIndeed** for her encouraging review of my one-shot, and for her tremendous forgiving spirit. She is a class act, and was absolutely hilarious yet inspiring at Twicon in Dallas.

**Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I just like to tweak the canon. **

We were on the run, Bella on my back. I was running as fast as I could, trying to get to my cabin near Denali, in Alaska. I could feel Bella's breath on the left side of my neck, her head nuzzled against my shoulder. She had a knit cap covering her beautiful dark brown waves to protect against the cold damp early March winds. Factor in my running speed, and Bella dealt with a stiff cold head wind.

The CDC, Centers for Disease Control, in Atlanta, had made the entire states of Washington, Oregon and Idaho, full quarantine restricted areas. Someone with an ebola-type virus had stepped on a plane in South China, and the pilot landed the plane in Seattle with an infected passenger roster of one hundred seventy-nine. Several crew members got away before the quarantine was issued. Now all humans were stuck where they were, be at home, at work, at recreation. No one moved.

Except my Bella.

She was not going to be placed at risk.

She was **mine.**

As soon as my family heard about the quarantine, we had sprung into action. Carlisle went to Seattle General Hospital immediately, to be of whatever help he could, triaging in the Emergency Room. If it truly was an ebola or Marburg-type virus, this crisis would run the full incubation period, three to twelve weeks. Fatalities would be a staggering fifty to ninety per cent. The very young, the elderly, and those with compromised immune systems would be the high-number fatalities. Carlisle knew he was in for the long haul.

I left for Bella's dorm room at UW, to rescue her from the hemorrhagic fever threat, using my speed as a vampire to carry her away from Seattle. She had not yet heard about the threat and initially balked, but I convinced her quickly with scare tactics: "Bella, do you want to die drowning in your own blood?"

She had stared at me with the most horrified look I had ever seen on that innocent nineteen year old face, her eyes unblinking. Emmett called our friends in the Denali Coven and they said they would have an SUV waiting in Vancouver. We just had to make it that far. Fortunately, I hunted less than twenty-four hours ago, so thirst would not be an issue for another five days or so. There was plenty of game in Alaska, even in March.

The National Guard from twenty-two states converged on the southern and eastern borders of Oregon and the perimeter of Idaho, effectively blocking egress from the three states. Canada prohibited travel from the forty-eight contiguous United States, by vehicle or by air. The FAA (Federal Aviation Administration) grounded aircraft in the three states within one hour of the contagion plane having set down in Seattle. The national_ air grid_ was thrown into near-chaos, air traffic controllers struggling to reroute all Sea-Tac, Boise and Portland-bound flights, as well as forcing down all private and chartered aircraft.

Nellis Air Force Base in Nevada and Edwards AFB in California were scrambling F-16 fighters to persuade aircraft reluctant to turn back from the three states' airspace. NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command), a mile deep below Cheyenne Mountain near Colorado Springs, was at DEFCON 2, anticipating a possible nuclear strike against the U.S., while America was in the midst of a bio-epidemic crisis.

Only DEFCON1 was a higher readiness status, signifying _Actual Attack - Prepare to launch missiles. _Sensing vulnerabilty, sabers were being rattled in Iran, North Korea and China. Tempers were short in nuclear India as well, which had a longstanding border dispute, over Kashmir, with western neighbor Pakistan. One itchy nuclear trigger finger, one miscommunication, and the world could be on fire, all because the U.S. was weakened by an internal crisis.

We were about seventy-five miles from Vancouver, in the center of old-growth forest, when Bella breathlessly said, "I need to rest, just a few minutes."

I stopped and she slid off my back, landing on the soft ground with a muted thud. She sighed tiredly as she stood up, wiping the moss and needles off the back of her jeans.

"I'm sorry, Edward," she said, a little breathy. "I just couldn't hold on much longer. The windburn from your running chaps my face."

I smiled slightly and leaned in to her, pressing my nose against the carotid artery on her neck. "Enjoying the bouquet while resisting the wine," I whispered, and she sighed as if frustrated. I ran my nose up the side of her face to the corner of her mouth, as if I was going to kiss her.

She smiled, sensing a "win", and opened her mouth to me. I pulled away and regarded her carefully, my hands remaining on the sides of her face. We stared intensely at one another for a few seconds.

"Are you rested up now? Can we continue?" I asked, grinning.

"Sure, of course," she replied. I crouched and she clambered onto my back, and crossed her arms around my neck. "It's like clinging to a cold rock," she giggled.

I turned my head to meet her eyes, narrowing mine in mock annoyance. "This _'rock'_ is getting you safely out of a quarantine zone." Smiling, I added, "Don't forget that, 'Little Human'."

"You know I appreciate it," she replied, kissing my neck. "It's just so sudden. No warning, no preparation. And I'm worried about Charlie..."

"Charlie is law enforcement. He will have a protocol he must follow. Emmett left a message at the station in Forks, that you were safe, headed for Alaska with me. Charlie will not worry about you now. We have to get out of here now, keep moving."

As I started running again in earnest, Bella molded herself to my back. Her body warmth was a reminder of just what was at stake. A microscopic virus could end her fragile human existence in less than ninety-six hours, if she were exposed. I could not conceive of an existence without Bella --- her scent, her warmth, the depth of her eyes, her fierce intellect.

If I was forced to make the choice, could I pierce her skin and inject her with my venom? If the virus jumped the Canadian border, should she become ill or physically threatened, could I change her? Could I make her an soulless immortal like myself?

Could I?

The gut-wrenching answer was yes.

I couldn't bear the thought of watching her die from a hemorrhagic fever, something which could never harm an immortal. The pain of her imagined loss drove me to run even faster.

I was edging along the outskirts of Vancouver. As long as I was running full-speed I was just a blur, but to navigate accurately, I was forced to slow down, risking being seen. Bella would have to retrieve the vehicle. I could not risk being seen in daylight in a public place, and it was an unusually sunny day.

I sped through the Richmond area of Vancouver, and found a cluster of trees just outside the short-term parking lot.

"Bella?' I knelt and slipped her off my back onto her feet.

She took a deep breath, and glanced at me, "Vancouver airport?"

I smiled, "Yes, we are over the border. It's too sunny and too public. You'll have to get the SUV. It's in the last row, it's silver with tinted windows, a Cadillac Escalade. The keys are in a small magnetic box, lodged a few inches inside the tailpipe. Can you get it and drive back here and pick me up? You'll need to pay for a few hours parking." I reached into my pocket, "Here's ten dollars. "

"I think I can handle this mission, Edward," and she squeezed my hand, laughing softly. She launched herself across the street and strode down the rows of the parking lot. After a few moments, I heard her voice call, "Got it!"

I breathed a sigh of relief. Kate and Carmen had not let us down. I heard the Cadillac start up, and saw it head toward the exits. A minute later, the SUV with 22" truck tires pulled up to the clump of trees where I was hiding in the shade.

Pulling open the back seat door, I jumped in behind Bella, and vaulted into the cargo area, checking the luggage. Inside the black bag was $200,000 in hundreds, fifties and twenties. There was also thirty-thousand dollars Canadian, all smaller bills. The beige bag held clothing, all in Bella's size.

"Bella, turn right at the first light," I told her. "Head into the first self-serve gas station you see, preferably one with a mini-mart and fast food."

I saw her smiling reflection in the rearview mirror.

"I get to eat? I'm choosing carefully! We have a quarter tank left, Edward," she exclaimed.

"You're driving until it gets dark, so get something with a little caffeine."

She nodded. "Okay, as long as you navigate, I don't mind driving."

I handed her three fifty-dollar bills.

When she got out of the SUV, I punched up GNN satellite news on the radio inside. What I heard was the worst case scenario:

"GNN reports widespread illness in greater Seattle, as well as Tacoma, this afternoon. Fatalities in residents over age 70 are approximately ninety-five per cent. Children under the age of three are reportedly not surviving once exposed. Young healthy adults are reportedly dying at the rate of forty per cent once exposed. Total deaths so far are approximated at two hundred twenty-six, mostly elderly.

Investigative researchers from the CDC in Atlanta are attempting to isolate the strain of Marburg/ebola virus involved in the outbreak and ten representatives have arrived in Seattle wearing protective clothing and respirators, as panic continues to grow. Citizens inside the quarantined states have expressed fear of running out of basic supplies, such as water, canned food and baby formula. Hospitals inside Washington, Idaho and Oregon are running critically short of supplies needed to treat a hemorrhagic fever, such as gowns, gloves, masks, suction equipment and antiviral drugs.

The Army and Air Force are joining forces to plan strategic airdrops of basic supplies to the Seattle-Tacoma area. Drop Zones are most likely to include the Seattle-Tacoma Airport and Skagit Island, a small but relatively sparsely-populated island near Seattle. GNN will continue to keep our viewers apprised of the fever crisis in the Northwestern United States.

In the Middle east today..."

As the subject changed, I tuned out.

It was hard to believe. All this human misery in less than eight hours.

I did not want Bella to hear it yet. I changed the station to satellite Classical Music before turning it off completely. If Bella turned on the radio, she would hear Mozart or Debussy, not the horror story which was now the regional news.

Meanwhile, Bella had put the gas nozzle in the tank and locked the handle, heading into the mini-mart with a Subway inside. I watched as she spoke to the clerk and pointed to the Escalade. She roamed around the mini-mart like it was a grocery store. Bella had to look at everything! I saw her with some clothing draped over her arms as she ordered her Subway. She paid for her sandwich and then stepped to the main register. She paid for the gas and her other purchases, and returned to the Cadillac with a huge bag.

"What, did you buy them out?" I looked at her quizzically.

She threw a bunch of black fabric at me, "Put it on, Edward."

I knew not to argue with Bella over small things. It was a black hooded sweatshirt, very soft microfiber. I pulled it over my body and pulled the hood over my head. She handed me a pair of sunglasses, and I put them on.

I looked at her, cocking an eyebrow.

"Very much under the radar, is how you look. Not at all vampiric or sparkly," she smiled and then giggled.

I chuckled. "Actually black was a good choice. It absorbs the light. I might get by riding with you in the front seat after all."

Can I eat half of this sandwich first?" she asked.

I nodded.

She popped the top on a black can with blue lettering, playfully reciting the too-familiar name, "Monster! Mega caffeine, like three cups of coffee."

I closed my eyes and smiled slightly, thinking of Bella's sensitivity to caffeine, and how wired she might get. Then I thought, it doesn't matter. I got her out of Seattle before she saw chaos and terror and impending death. I felt grateful for her being here with me, safe. Who cared if she was drinking mega-caffeinated beverages?

I thought of how quickly her pulse would flutter after finishing her drink.

She ate her sandwich and drank her "Monster" as I began to contemplate some things. I needed to look more human if we were going to pull off this little Alaskan adventure.

"Bella, we need to do some quick shopping," I said decisively. "We both need heavy winter clothing -- thermals, fleece outer wear, jackets, hats, gloves, earmuffs for you, too."

We headed for Broadway and Alberta Streets using the GPS navigation system on the Escalade, and arrived at Taiga's well before the store closed. Taiga's had everything: Polartec outerwear, to cut the wind and deflect snow; Gore-Tex shells and "gaiters" for snow work, chopping wood.

I had to at least _look_ human, and these clothes would fill the bill. I also duplicated everything for Bella, hats and gloves included, in case she wanted to venture out with me. I would have to hunt, and there is no reason why my prey could not provide meat protein for Bella.

I purchased appropriate hunting knives for cleaning and skinning deer and elk. I bought several axes as well, so I could chop kindling and wood for the stove and fireplace. I also picked out several sleeping bags. Although the frigid temps did not bother me, I needed something to keep her warm until the cabin's fireplace was stoked. I could not gauge how cold Bella might feel, and I did not want her immune system compromised by anything, even cold, so I stocked up. Our purchases totalled several thousand dollars Canadian. Money well spent, to be sure.

Our next stop was a drugstore, where I picked up a variety of first-aid supplies, vitamins, and pain relievers as well as insect repellants -- spring in Alaska was notorious for gnats and mosquitoes, and there was no telling how many months we might have to lay low in the Alaskan interior. I had given Bella several hundred dollars for shampoo and similar personal items. I watched her purchase magazines and paperback novels, and I winced.

She needed better reading material, so I took her for a quick stop at a Book Warehouse down the block and her face lit up, "Oh, Edward, you are so thoughtful!"

She selected a bargain copy of Jane Austen's Complete Works, as well as every book off the Employees' Reading List and every interesting New Novelist work. She picked up some puzzle books too: soduku, futoshiki, and fill-ins. She paused at the journal table and selected three two hundred page leather-bound ruled blank journals, and several four-packs of Pentel Liquid Gel Ink pens. She purchased forty-seven books total and I had to help her carry the three large shopping bags to the car.

We loaded the books in the back of the Escalade, and as I slammed the hatch, she turned and embraced me, murmuring, "You're so sensitive to me. You knew how much reading means to me. I love you for that, Edward."

I sighed, "While you were buying books, I was buying music CDs." I laughed. " So although I wanted you to pick out some good reading material, I had ulterior motives for taking you there. I even got an internet-only computer for three hundred dollars."

She laughed along with me and we hopped in the SUV.

The love of my life was happy and that's all that mattered. No matter how boring our cabin might be, she would have something interesting to read -- and journals, in which to write.

I consulted the GPS and we drove out of Vancouver, heading north, to Alaska.


	2. Chapter 2 Pleading and Paranoia

A/N The flight continues. This chapter introduces Bella's thoughts and feelings and you might notice how they perceive things a little differently. _Vive la difference! _Vampire Edward makes the EPOV of this story even more skewed. Hope you enjoy it. Love it or not, **please leave a review! **I was going to write this all EPOV, but 80% of reviewers wanted to hear Bella's voice, too. I will aim to post new chapters on Tuesdays, but if real life interferes, as it can, that may change to every other Tuesday. If you like this story, put me on story alert, so you will be notified. **Thanks to EZRocksAngel, for Creature of Habit, an inspiration beyond compare. ****Thank you, Phillip, for your suggestions. I love you. Edward approves of your German car obsession.**

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**Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I just like to wreak havoc on them.**

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**EPOV**

Bella was driving as we headed out of Vancouver in the Escalade. About four hours later, as the sun was setting on the short winter day, Bella pulled off the road at a scenic overlook. We were just shy of the city of Whistler, a ski resort area. She slid onto the passenger seat, as I jumped out of the passenger side. I walked around the back of the SUV to get in on the driver's side. Bella reached over and set the heat on in her light gray leather seat; the Cadillac had heated leather seating areas and I did not need that feature.

I glanced at her. "I'm sorry. I should have turned the seat heater on for you." I started back onto the highway.

"That's okay Edward, you can't read my mind. You cannot anticipate everything," she said evenly.

She was correct. I could hear the thoughts of everyone but her. Initially, her scent overwhelmed me with thirst. When I discovered her thoughts were closed to me, I became obsessed with her. She was a forbidden taste, something I could not have. It was what drove me compulsively to learn all I could about her. I wanted to consume her, so instead I consumed all I could about her --- I followed her and spent nights in her room while she slept. I later pursued her as a suitor. She told me I was "charmingly old-fashioned". I felt sexually aroused the first time we kissed. I was _never_ sexually attracted to anyone in over ninety years; I thought I might be _asexual_! My attraction to her was a conundrum to me. I was absolutely perplexed and mystified at times.

"Edward, are you in there?" She touched my right temple with her fingertip.

I snorted softly, "Yes, I was just remembering how confused I was when I first saw you."

"In the lab? When you wanted to _drain me dry_?" She sighed loudly, "Honestly, Edward, I wonder why I'm still alive if I was such a torment to you," she dryly murmured.

"It was not at all humorous," I responded softly. "I was planning to kill every human in that room, just so I could have you. Taste your blood, sate my thirst. Commit mass murder."

She inhaled sharply, gasping at the images. Her face paled and she no longer looked at me, but turned to the passenger window, pretending to look at the scenery, as it flew by at 140 kilometers per hour.

I waited five minutes then whispered, "Bella, talk to me. We are going to be living in a twelve hundred square foot cabin for months. We HAVE to talk things out. I can't bear the thought of you despising me. _You_ were the one who begged me for honesty. I told you I was a monster..."

"Edward, I do _NOT_ despise you," she interrupted me. "You tossed out 'mass murder' as if it was an afterthought. What is past tense to you is a raw image stuck fresh in my head. I _know_ all those people that would have been just _collateral damage_ to you. Do you understand that?"

"Yes, my love. I forget how blunt I am sometimes." I reached over the console between the seats and touched her left hand. Her hand trembled momentarily, then reached for mine. We clasped each other's hands in a healing gesture.

I could _not_ admit my most ignoble impulses to her again. They _were_ repulsive to her. My true nature would unfold like a real-life horror movie, and give her nightmares. So although she pleaded for truth, I'd give her the cleaner, censored version. The version that produced seven hours of untroubled sleep.

I pulled off my hooded shirt and rolled it up like a pillow. "Bella, do you want to take a nap? You could stretch out in the back seat," I offered, encouragingly.

"All right, Edward. Don't let me miss anything interesting," she said cheerfully, and she crawled between the seats. I pressed the switch to turn on the heat to the back seat leather bench. She pulled a blanket around her and closed her eyes. I hit the radio button and turned on Satellite Classical Music. Vaughan Williams'_ The Lark Ascending _by Hugh Bean, soloist, and The New Philharmonia Orchestra, conducted by Sir Adrian Boult, was playing. The opening was light, airy, delicate. I could hear the violin lark flitting across the sky.

_Music calms the_ _savage_ _beast_ _in_ _all_ _of us._

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**B****POV**

Edward appeared at Preston Hall, UW campus, at nine-fifteen in the morning, wearing black jeans and a green plaid shirt over a black tee. His hair was even more disarrayed than usual. He looked very serious. Scary, even. He asked me to come with him immediately, and I refused. "What is going on Edward? This is mid-term week, I have exams to prepare for. I can't just take off with no good reason!"

He gave me a hard look, and then launched into the most preposterous but terrifying story I had ever heard, "Bella, there's a deadly virus loose in Seattle. Hundreds, if not thousands are going to die. I want to take you to my cabin in Alaska, near Denali. You won't have to be in contact with other, possibly infectious humans, for as long as this epidemic lasts. Please come now."

"I don't think I can abandon a semester of studies..."

"Bella, this will move fast. Classes will be deserted from panic. Schools and colleges will shut down! Do you want to die drowning in your own blood? Do you want to beg for oxygen even as your lungs are saturated and bleeding out of control? _THERE IS NO CURE._"

I stared at him, the shock apparent on my face. He loved me enough to take me away to safety, and he was obviously concerned, even frightened, for my welfare. He had not acted rashly, he took the time to explain to me what was happening. He did not _demand,_ he pleaded. I thought about the content of his speech and I reeled with its significance. Another minute of thought, and I knew what I must do. _Screw college, screw these damn textbooks. This city will be insane inside of twenty-four hours. He's offering me survival and the best, devoted love on the face of the planet._

I dumped my backback out on the bed, dumped my purse into the now-empty backpack, and looked him square in the face. "I have my ID and my driver's license. Anything else? "

"No. We will go part of the way in the BMW, but the roads will jam from panic. The state is quarantined. "

As we left the dorm we saw a mixture of normal, oblivious behavior, and the beginnings of worried concern on campus. Some students headed to class at a leisurely pace, earbuds in place, blaring music. Some students were running to their cars. I saw a few abandoned backpacks strewn along the Commons. Edward guided me to the BMW 530i with his right hand on the small of my back, his left hand on my elbow. I think he was afraid of a _stampede._ I knew that what he wanted, more than _anything_ at that moment, was to get me safely out of Seattle.

I sat in the Bimmer as Edward drove north. I thought about my best friend Angela, six months pregnant, and her husband, Officer Ben Cheney. My father Charlie, Ben's boss, Chief of Police of Forks. What if the virus got that far? These were people I cared about and loved. I put my elbows on my knees, and covered my face with my hands. I wanted to wake up and discover this was all a bad dream. I loved Edward, I was grateful to be rescued, but the scope of what he described was unbelievable. In this day and age, how could this happen? How could someone _that sick_ get on a plane bound for the United States? I turned on the radio.

"This is KJR, radio 95, in Seattle with an Emergency Alert. Important news will follow. Please listen carefully. A potent virus of unknown origin has entered Seattle by way of a flight from Asia. The Centers for Disease Control and the Federal Emergency Management Agency have issued a quarantine for the states of Washington, Oregon and Idaho. No vehicles nor individuals will be allowed to leave these states.

Canada, to our north, has issued a bulletin that their border is closed to all planes and vehicles, as well as pedestrian traffic. You will NOT be allowed into Canada. Please remain in your homes or places of business. Panic will only increase the wider distribution of the virus.

The CDC believes this virus to be of the Marburg variety, and is is spread by coughing or sneezing, or by direct contact with those infected with the virus. Wash your hands frequently and do not place your hands near your eyes, nose or mouth. We will have further updates as they become available."

I turned off the radio. Edward said nothing, and for that I was grateful. Anything he said, would sound like _"I told you so_." He was not keeping score in our relationship. I seemed to be, and normally we would be bantering about it, but that was the farthest thing from my mind right now.

The radio report did not discuss evacuation. This could only mean that Seattle and the three states were _written off and thought to be contained. _They figured anyone who had been exposed was not likely to get much farther past the border of Washington in several hours, so they lumped in Oregon and Idaho, to be safe.

I made straight A's in biology and chemistry. I suspected I knew what was happening. We were the giant petri dish --- the three state incubator. They would let us succumb so they could study the bug. I hated to sound so cynical, I hated thinking this way, but this _was being managed_!

We were a government-sponsored science experiment. We were part of the experimental group and the rest of the country was the control group. _Hell, after they got their data, maybe they would incinerate Washington state to neutalize the_ _threat. _I laughed at myself. _Now, Bella, that last part sounds_ _truly paranoid. If you voice those ideas, they'll lock you up in the Western State Mental Hospital in Tacoma!_

Edward and Carlisle knew everything within minutes of that plane landing. Carlisle might have seen Plague deaths --- he was over 350 years old. The vector there was infected fleas on rodents. Rodents carried fleas to human dwellings. Infected rodents or fleas bit humans. Nearly a million deaths occurred in Europe. Tens of millions total died in the three major outbreaks occurring in the last seven hundred years. All linked to _yersinia pestis, _a bacterium_. _Modern antibiotics have cured plague victims.

There are no antibiotics for a _virus_. There is no cure.

We stalled in _traffic hell, _thirty miles north of Seattle. As much as Edward loved his BMW, he loved me more. We parked the elegant forest green sedan in a rest area and walked away from it, into the woods together. Out of sight of all others, I climbed silently on his back. I pulled my knit cap over my head, kissed the nape of his neck, said, _"T__hank you, Love," _and locked my arms around his neck.

He took off running as if his life depended on it it. _Mine cetainly did._

When we passed Bellingham several hours later, I asked Edward to stop. I was cold and stiff, I did not think I could I could hold on any longer. I was wearing jeans and a sweater, with a sweatshirt on top, and a knitted cap. Still, my face and hands felt like ice. I needed one of those _balaclavas,_ like guys wear to football games in open stadiums during freezing weather. It leaves only holes for your eyes and mouth. I wish I had remembered my gloves! I wish I had a cup of herbal tea to warm me up.

Instead of complaining, I made a joke about how chapped my face was because of his running. And I expressed concern over Charlie. Edward countered my concern over Charlie by telling me Emmett had notified him that I was safe. He explained that Charlie would stay busy keeping the peace during the quarantine. Edward was logical, and right as he _usually was. If only he could feel an iota of what it was to really worry._

_Then I slapped myself mentally. He loves you more than anything or anyone. We are about to cross into Canada in violation of their Declaration. Edward was breaking the law to keep you safe. Stupid, stupid Bella. You are so dense at times, with your ideas of independence. Everything he does, is because he loves you beyond reason, beyond logic! No "human man" would be doing this for you. Marooned at college in Seattle, more than likely you would perish in weeks, if not days. _

"Edward, what do we do in Canada?" I asked.

"Emmett called the Denali coven and there will be an SUV at the airport waiting for us. There will be money in it and clothing for you. We will drive to Alaska, through British Coumbia and the Yukon, as if we'd been in Canada for a week. I have your passport in my jacket, I went to your house before the dorm." He smiled, "Both our passports have Canadian entry stamps dated six days ago. Our expert forger Jasper is responsible for that."

He acted as if he would kiss me, then asked if I was rested. I climbed back on his back, and he ran for another hour and a half.

We reached Vancouver before 1300. Edward stopped in a cluster of trees on the perimeter of the airport, gave me ten dollars to pay for parking, and asked me to go get a silver Caddy SUV, an Escalade. He looked worried, as if it might not be there. I guess if I didn't find it, we were up the proverbial Shit Creek without oars, in a foreign country, breaking the law.

I walked confidently through the short-term parking lot, looking for a high profile Silver truck. In the very last row, I saw it. I stuck two fingers in the tailpipe and felt the keytainer, a magnetic box with a sliding top. It pulled out easily. I said, "got it!" with my voiced barely raised, knowing Edward was on edge, listening, and would hear me.

I slid the top of the keytainer open and two keys were tightly lodged in the tray. I pulled them out carefully. One was the security device key and one was the trunk/hatch key. I pressed the green button on the large-headed key and the security alarm "chirped". The driver's side door was now unlocked and I hopped in and keyed the ignition, then jumped a little, startled. The person who last drove this giant behemoth of a luxomobile left the radio on, tuned very loud to sixties music. The Rascals' _People Got To Be Free_ was blasting at sound level 42. I dialed it back to level 20, and backed out of the parking space.

The short-term parking ticket was in the logical place, the driver's visor. They had parked at 1022, less than three hours ago. As I pulled up to the exit booth, I saw the woman had on a mask and disposable gloves. _They're worried up here already, I thought. _I got four dollars and change back. I drove around and stopped for Edward. He leaped in the back seat and then jumped into the cargo area to check the luggage. In the rearview mirror, I could see him counting money. He wore a relieved smile.

He told me to drive down "the strip", the main drag near the airport. I had not eaten breakfast and I was hungry. I pulled into a Chevron station with a Subway, jumped out, locked the nozzle in the tank, and took the money Edward gave me into the mini-mart. I let the clerk know I had money and pointed to the Caddy. I ordered the lowfat ham sub with mushrooms, olives, tomatoes and spinach leaves on whole wheat bread, with a drizzle of Southwest chipotle dressing. _You can take the girl out of Phoenix but you can't take the Phoenix out of the girl! _I bought a low-carb twenty ounce energy drink and some V8 for later, as well as a bottled coffee drink.

Then, with the sunny cool day in mind, I picked out a large microfiber hooded sweatshirt and a pair of sunglasses, wrap-around ski style. I bought a can of windshield deicer and a scraper, and a can of fixaflat. Better prepared than marooned. I paid for it all and headed back to the car.

Edward eyed my bag suspiciously. I hurled the hooded shirt at him and _told him to put it on. Bold Bella!_ He put it on with the sunglasses, and looked like any other tourist headed north to ski. I teased him that he wouldn't sparkle now. I tore into my sandwich with gusto and took a swig of the Monster energy drink. Edward shook his head with a smirk and stared at me briefly.

He decided we needed cold-weather gear, so we drove to Taiga's and Edward stocked up. A female clerk listened to his instructions and led me to racks. I got to pick out the color and style of whatever fabric he decided we needed. I chose mostly muted colors: beiges, browns, golds. Edward chose mostly black and royal blue, a few reds. He bought knives and axes and sleeping bags (he said he never wanted me to be cold). He also bought propane tanks --- I would ask why later.

Then we went to a chain drugstore. Edward was buying whatever, I bought shampoo, conditioner, and even make up. And five bottles of moisturizer as well as body lotion. Then I looked at the pitiful book rack. I picked out two mass-market mysteries and a recipe magazine for game animals. _Yuck !_ Edward was waiting up front, and saw me looking at the books. I paid for my stuff and I heard him ask a passing clerk where the closest full-service bookstore was, but I did not get my hopes up.

He hit the GPS and smiled. I headed down the block and when the GPS voice said turn, I did, and there was Book Warehouse! I could not help but squeal and thank Edward effusively. He gave me twelve hundred dollars. I felt like a kid in a candy store!

I found a leatherbound Complete Works of Jane Austen for fifteen dollars, on sale. _Do people not appreciate the Classics anymore?_ I knew we were strapped for time, so I picked every paperback from the Favorites of Employees display. I went to New Fiction Authors and scanned descriptions rapidly. I picked up fifteen of twenty of those. I bought every George Eliot, Thomas Hardy, Dickens, Hemingway, and Steinbeck book from classic fiction, and six poetry anthologies as well as James Wright's _Above the River_. I also selected several Science Fiction series books in paperback, including Heinlein, Asimov, John Wyndham, and Orson Scott Card. I bought almost FIFTY books! I bought three blank Moleskine journals and sixteen pens.

Edward helped me lug the heavy bags to the Caddy. I noticed bags from the store already in the cargo area. He sheepishly admitted he bought CDs and a small computer. We laughed and hugged, and jumped into the Escalade. I was driving first, and headed north out of Vancouver.

We had made it just to the outskirts of Whistler when the sun went down. It was now his turn to drive. I was tired and laid down in the back seat with Edward's soft fleece sweatshirt as a pillow. _And oh, it smelled like him already, sweet and woody, like apple cider heating on a cedar wood stove, heavenly. What would our sleeping arrangements be? How long to get to Alaska? I heard beautiful violin music and I drifted off to sleep, knowing my beautiful Edward had once again kept me safe._


	3. Chapter 3 Lovers and Liars

A/N Chapter Three. Our pilgrims are in British Columbia, and the journey towards Alaska is stressing them in unexpected ways. Edward, of course, never sleeps, but his daytime activities are limited. Poor Bella must catch a nap when she can, and must do all the daytime driving and fill-ups at stops, while Edward navigates. **I bid my heart out at Support Stacie Auction -- one the most exciting and rewarding experiences. There will be another online auction in November. Don't miss it. All benefits Stacie, an uninsured author battling ovarian cancer. **Thank you, Phillip, for your suggestions and witticisms. **Remember, this is called "alternate universe" for a reason! It's NOT intended to be exactly like ANY book. **

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**Stephenie Meyer owns the characters. I just hurl roadblocks at them.**

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_**Bella**_

I woke up and Edward was stopping for gas. The energy drink had done its work and had energized my kidneys. _I had to pee, and pretty damn quickly!_

I stepped outside and Edward was standing, watching the tank fill. "Where are we, Edward?" I asked still waking up, yawning.

"D'arcy," he replied. You were out asleep only three hours."

"Like 'Mr. Darcy' in Jane Austen's _Pride and Prejudice ?_

"No, there's an apostrophe after the D", he replied.

"Is there a Ladies' Room?"

"Yeah, Baby, in the cafe inside. There are pies."

"Very funny, Edward. Trying to fatten me up? Have plans I don't know about?"

"No, Bella, I just recall my mother Elizabeth baking pies, It was a memory, that's all."

I leaned up to brush my hand against his cheek. "That's a good memory, Edward. I'll get some pie to go," I said, leveling my gaze up at him. "What was your favorite?"

"Blueberry," he said wistfully.

I knew even if he tasted the pie, it would not be the same. I felt so sad for him sometimes, retrieving memories, and not being allowed to share them. I went into the restaurant and used the restroom, splashing some water on my face. I looked at my watch. A little past 2300. We'd made good time, but it was at least two thousand miles farther to Alaska, or another forty hours or so to get there. I went into the restaurant and sat at the counter. The pleasant, red-faced woman ambled over, "What can I get ya, hon?"

"I would like a slice of that blueberry pie and a cup of coffee with two creams to go, please."

"Sure thing," she replied. She placed the pie in a paper container and placed it in a bag with both a spoon and a fork. _Good to the last bite! _She poured a cup of coffee into a cup and put two Half and Half's into it and put a sipper lid on it. "That'll be three dollars, Hon." I paid her and returned to Edward. He ran inside to pay for the gas-- in cash, we weren't using credit cards-- and returned . I was already in the Caddy. I opened the pie container.

Edward took a whiff. He sighed and said, "Not the same. Her pies were hot from the oven."

"Would you like a taste?"

He sighed again, "You know human food tastes like dirt to vampires. But yeah, a small taste, just to see, if it's anything like hers..."

I lopped off a piece of filling with a small amount of crust, offering it to him. He took the fork and put it quickly into his mouth, then grimaced slightly.

"The consistency is right but I can no longer taste food as when I was human. You enjoy the pie. I have the memory of the _smell_ of my mother's pies, at least. Thank you, Bella, for the effort," he said sadly. He took one of my napkins and spit the pie into it, stepped out of the Caddy, and pitched it in the trash.

I took a bite of the pie, devastated for Edward's poignant memory and the inability to recall the taste. I could taste the creaminess with a few blueberries nearly intact. The soft, buttery crust was the perfect counterpoint to the filling. It made me ache for Edward. I felt tears well up, but I stopped them cold. I refocused. _I did not want him sensing my sadness, nor smelling my tears. He was sad enough as it was._

He started the engine and the Escalade pulled smoothly onto the highway. We headed north on highway 99, then northwest on highway 97. A town called 100 Mile House was next. We'd heard how picturesque it was, but it was pitch black out and so we missed the sights. The ever-present snow glistened under the pale quarter moon.

We were now in the "Cariboo-Chilcotin" region of British Columbia. At the city of Williams Lake, it was 0200 and Edward pulled over for gasoline, since we were up in the mountains and there might not be many opportunities for fill-ups. I got out to stretch my legs, being careful in the slushy snow-- there could be ice underneath. I stepped inside the mini-mart.

There were key rings for sale -- the Canadian flag symbol, and since our Caddy keys were loose, I bought one, for two dollars. Edward laughed, "Patriotic for the Canadians, eh? Can you sing 'O Canada'?" He was being humorously rhetorical. He kissed me on the forehead and helped me back into the passenger seat. I slipped both keys on the ring.

As Edward drove the Escalade back onto the highway, I felt my eyes grow heavy --all that sugar and fat I had eaten earlier, most likely. I crawled into the backseat again and pulled the blanket over me. I would have to drive again in a little over four and a half hours, I needed the sleep. In Vancouver, when I saw that toll taker at the the airport wearing a mask and gloves, I knew it was more urgent than ever that we get to Alaska. I dozed off on his fleece shirt-pillow, while Edward sped along doing a relatively moderate 130 kph into the night.

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**Edward**

I could not let go of the image of my human mother, Elizabeth. The sight of the pies in the stopover, and the stress of our journey, appeared to be triggering random human memories.

_I was nine years old, it was 1910, in Chicago, and she was baking pies for a church social. She wore a lavender print dress with a high collar and long sleeves, all white lace-trimmed. Her white hat, trimmed with her dress fabric, hung on one of the hooks by the wet room. Over her dress was her yellow calico apron. She'd baked two apple and two blueberry pies. They were set on the kitchen window sill and counter to cool. She had several tablespoons of leftover blueberry filling in the mixing bowl, and she noticed me staring. She got a clean tea towel from the cupboard and draped it carefully over my "Sunday best" suit, and handed me the mixing spoon. I felt like I'd been singled out as her favorite child. I carefully spooned up the blueberry mixture and greedily ate it. It was the best Sunday morning treat ever. _

_I know that she spoke to me that day, but I could recall neither the words nor the sound of her voice. Frustrating! "Her favorite child?" I suddenly remembered I had a brother, Randolph, three years younger. Had the influenza taken his life as well? He would've been barely fourteen when the epidemic hit. I know I shouldn't let these memories overtake me, but I actually could not help it._

Bella was breathing deeply on the back seat, sound asleep. I would really treasure her feedback right now, but I would not wake her. She desperately needed whatever sleep she could catch on the rest of the trip, for we _dare not waste time in a motel._

I was listening to Erik Satie's _Lent et Triste _piano solo, and that was not helping my mood. I ejected the CD, and hit the Satellite Classical. _Bach's Brandenburg Concerto Number 4,_ much better. You cannot be depressed listening to good Baroque music, the melodies are too intricate and beautiful. I smiled, humming to Bach.

I glanced at the GPS and the gas gauge. We had almost a 480-mile driving range, but gas was unreliable, and I could not let the tank get lower than half-full, to be safe. I thought our next stop would be _Northern_ B.C., the GPS indicated there were restaurants open at 0600. I was just about to get the mileage, when my phone vibrated in my shirt pocket.

_I pulled out the phone. Not a number I recognized, but it was Seattle's area code._ "Hello?"

"Edward? Carlisle."

"Hello, Carlisle. What's going on in Seattle?"

"It's bad, son. Very bad. Three hundred-seven dead in less than twenty-four hours. We think it's mutated from the original Marburg virus. Mostly, elderly are the dead. One hundred eighty of those deaths are from one Seattle nursing home. But we lost four small children, too, all less than three years old. It's devastating to tell the parents. I feel helpless, Edward."

"Has it hit the University?"

"Yes, but it's deserted now. We lost one heavy smoker, a male, from Preston Hall," Carlisle said sadly.

"That's Bella's dorm!" _I tried to keep my voice down. It would not be wise to wake Bella to this conversation._

_"_Son, you did the right thing to take her away. It's absolutely chaotic here. I believe there are people dead in their homes. Too sick, too fast, unable to come to the hospital."

_"_Oh my God, Dad, that's terrible. Those poor people. You said, the virus..._ it's mutated?"_

_"_The CDC is working on it. They have the entire eighth floor here at Seattle General. They brought their own electron microscope. Edward, this **IS** a full-scale epidemic."

_"_Has anyone gotten sick and recovered?"

_"_Only one, Edward. A young man, a _Quilieute, _here working on construction. He's from LaPush. The CDC have him, they're drawing blood around the clock, trying to see what makes him different," Carlisle said.

_"_Do we know him, Carlisle?"

_"_Yes, son, we do. It's Jacob Black. I've got to head back to work. I just wanted to make sure your plans went off without a hitch."

"Thanks, Dad." I hung up. _Jacob Fucking Black! It would be THAT bastard who might be the key to the cure! Should I share this with Bella? No FUCKING way. Let a vampire rip me apart and burn me first!_

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**Bella**

I woke up when I heard Edward's door shut. I sat up, rubbed my eyes, and looked out. Edward was pumping gas. I threw the blanket off and ran my fingers through my hair to detangle it. Then I stepped out of the Escalade.

"Hey, Edward, the sun may come up soon. Where are we?" The eastern sky was dark blue.

"We're in Prince George, in Northern British Columbia. Time for a full breakfast, so you can drive," he said, smiling. "Did you sleep well?"

"Like a log. Those heated seats are very comfortable." _I didn't mention how aromatic was my pillow - his pullover shirt - and how it assisted sleep._

"Hey, Bella, Bring that new hooded shirt. By the time we get through with breakfast, I'll need it, with the sun coming up." _Sure, Edward, refresh the scent for me._

I saw he already had his sunglasses hung inside his shirt pocket. He took my hand and we walked into _Ricky's Pancake and Family Restaurant._ Edward must have GPS'd it. A _real_ restaurant, off the main road from Highway 16. Prince George was about one-fifth the size of Vancouver.

We sat down in a booth away from windows, in case the sun came up too quickly. _No embarrassing sparkly vampire skin._ I looked at the menu provided by the waitress and I began to drool. They had everything: waffles, pancakes, Eggs Benedict, omelettes, every kind of breakfast meat imaginable.

I leaned over and asked Edward to order a Western omelotte, toast, and coffee, with two creams. He nodded, he understood the ruse. I ordered strawberry pancakes, bacon and orange juice. I wolfed mine down, then flipped plates with Edward, and ate his omelette, half the toast and the coffee. Edward almost guffawed, shaking his head, watching me stuff myself. I got a refill on "his coffee".

We were through in 35 minutes, and I joked, "I'll just want an energy drink for lunch now. Oh, and Edward. How _was__ that breakfast?" _He burst out laughing, as he pulled on the shirt, hood up, and put on his sunglasses. _He threw his arm around my shoulder as we headed out to the Escalade. It felt good to act normal, eat in a restaurant. I knew that once we got to the cabin, it would be a long wait, no "outside amusements"._

I got in the driver's seat and Edward got me back on 16 going northwest. We'd decided to take the western route to the Yukon, because there were fewer unpaved roads and more towns where gas was available. _Actually, Edward made the decision, but in matters of pure logic, I ceded the win. He WAS the navigator, after all_.

Edward's phone was plugged into the outlet in the Caddy. It buzzed and vibrated. He picked it up.

"Hello, Esme." I heard him say. "You want to talk _to Bella_?" He handed me the phone with a frown.

"Esme! What a pleasant surprise," I said cheerfully. Edward placed his hand on the steering wheel, as if I _could not_ drive and talk at the same time.

"Bella! Are you okay? My _wild_ son isn't bossing you around, is he?"

"No more than usual, Esme," I said, laughing, knowing Edward could hear every word each of us said.

"Carlisle is at the Hospital twenty hours a day. It's rough, he says. Lots of illness," she said sadly.

"Are people dying?"

"I don't know the statistics, dear. I cannot stand to watch the news. And Carlisle won't share the bad news with me. He wants the few hours here at home to be a break."

"Well, I can certainly understand that, Esme," I commiserated.

"Are you still in British Columbia, Bella?"

"Yes, we'll make Yukon by tomorrow, Edward says. We are only stopping for gas and to feed me," I stated.

"Dear, listen to Edward. He talked to Carlisle last night, and you are doing the right thing. Edward will do everything in his power to keep you safe, dear."

"Y-Yes, Esme. I will. He's been really good to me _..so far_."

"Bella, we'll call again soon. Get some rest. This trek of yours will be over in three days, or less."

The line went dead. The Cullens never said goodbye, they just hung up!

I looked at Edward, "So, you talked to Carlisle last night?"

"You were sleeping, Bella. I wasn't going to wake you," he almost _whined._

"What did Carlisle have to say, Edward?"

"Just some grim statistics," he replied.

"I'd like to hear them, Edward. Please elaborate," I insisted.

He hedged, "Carlisle told me an entire Seattle nursing home was wiped out by the virus. One hundred-eighty dead."

"What else? How many _total?_ I _KNOW _he told you."

"Three hundred-seven that they know for certain," he admitted quietly.

"Any thing you're NOT telling me, Edward?" I was sure he was holding something back. It made me _absolutely irate when he felt he had to protect me from the truth! _

"I know that the CDC as taken over a floor at Carlisle's hospital, and they brought their own electron microscope. That's all I know--- honestly, Bella."

I still believed that Edward was holding back. He left _something out,_ I could feel it. Damn it, he was _LYING TO ME !_ I was determined to get to the whole truth. If I needed to keep badgering him, _I would._ I was driving for the next eleven hours, and he couldn't shut me out forever.

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**Edward**

Bella did not believe me. I could tell by the way she looked at me, the _intensity of her eyes and the set of her jaw._ I felt like I was about to be cross-examined. It was hard to deliberately hide things from Bella, but what good came of her knowing Jacob Black was the guinea pig for an experimental vaccine for the mutated virus ? (_NONE!)_

Would she rest more easily knowing that the man who sought her romantically after I "_left" almost nineteen months ago, was being held, probably against his well, by an agency of the federal government? (NO!) _

_Would this information just feed into her already slightly paranoid ideas about the Feds' response to this virus threat? (YES!)_

_So I decided to stick to my story, even through the wrath of a woman I love, to whom I just lied, by omission. All's fair in love and war. This virus was WAR_.


	4. Chapter 4 Abandonment Issues

Our duo is in Northern B.C., almost in the Yukon Territory, the last Canadian province before Alaska. It's 0900, Day Two, and Bella is driving. She was planning to badger Edward, she's convinced he lied to her. She believes Carlisle told Edward something important, that Edward is keeping from her. _The stress is getting to both of them, each in their own way. Massive Bella flashback ahead. _Thank you Phillip. More German automotive excellence for you! Thank you to my faithful core readers: Alex, Jazsqr, Susan, Duskwatcher, Kyla713, NATSU and EMILY. I appreciate your feedback so much!

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_Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I just watch their mood swings._

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**Bella**

"Edward, you HAVE to tell me what else Carlisle told you! What else is happening in Seattle?"

"Bella, I swear I told you everything I know."

"Well, I don't believe you. You ARE holding back."

"Bella," Edward groaned. "I don't know what else I can do to convince you I am being absolutely honest with you."

**"Tell me the rest!** **Tell me what you're holding back from me!"**

_I_ _shocked myself._

_I was almost screaming. I sounded obsessed and I am sure I sounded slightly deranged. And this, after poor Edward recalled his mother making pies! What the hell was WRONG with me? Here we were almost halfway to Alaska, and relative absolute safety, and I was screaming interrogations at my boyfriend. My boyfriend, a "vegetarian vampire", who loved only me. Two virgins in love? And I was verbally abusive? Geez, I had to get hold of myself. I reached over and turned on the Satellite Radio. I put on Sixties Sounds, and heard The Youngbloods:_

"Love is but a song we sing, Fear's the way we die.  
You can make mountains ring, Or make the angels cry.  
Though the bird is on the wing, and we may not know why.  
Come on people, now, smile on your brother,  
Everybody get together, try to love one another right now."

_I turned off "Get Together" and pulled off the road, onto the shoulder, because I could not see to drive through my tears. I didn't even care that I was crying, or that I might look weak. I only cared that my priority was to fix what I had done. I put the gearshift in park._

_I HAD to apologize to Edward. I turned off the engine of the Escalade and continued to cry. As Edward reached for me, I opened the door and got out, closing the door and edging flat against the SUV toward the cargo hatch. I did not want to get hit by oncoming traffic! Edward looked alarmed as he jumped out, too, and raced at vampiric speed to get to me, lifting me up before I got to the back of the vehicle. He had me safely to the side of the road before I could blink._

"Bella..!?!"

"Oh, my God, Edward, what on earth was I thinking? I am SO very sorry. You did not deserve that.....that **_interrogation_**!" I threw my arms around his neck. I was still sobbing.

"Oh, Bella, you frightened me," he gasped out. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I started kissing his neck and the side of his face, entreating his forgiveness. I had my hands at the back of his head, grasping and rubbing my fingers through his hair.

He walked back around to the passenger side and opened the back door. He laid down on the seat with me still wrapped around him like a pretzel. He reached up and held my face in his hands. He wiped my tears with his thumbs. "Bella, there is nothing you can do or say that will make me stop loving you."

_I leaned forward to kiss him, and he ran his right hand through my hair, to the back of my neck, as his left hand rubbed my back, then slid to the small of my back, holding me in place. I suddenly realized that my legs were no longer wrapped around his waist. I was now SITTING ON TOP of Edward, my knees bent toward his elbows. As I held the kiss it dawned on me that Edward had an erection. I was flattered. Obviously he was more relieved than he let on. He sat up suddenly, breaking the kiss._

"Uh, sorry, Bella. I, uh.."

"You have no reason to be sorry. I'm GLAD I can make you do that!" I looked at him winsomely, my lips slowly turning up in an amused smirk.

He started to laugh, relieved. "You're_ glad_, huh?" Wait 'til we get to the cabin, m'dear. There will be lots more where that came from!" He grabbed my wrists, gently and playfully.

"Oh, now, will there, Edward Cullen? Promises, promises!"_ I loved to bait him romantically. He always rose to the occasion. Oops, not that way. Although he does THAT a lot, too. I mean, I wish I KNEW. I haven't been allowed to SEE it yet. He's more of a prude than I am! Heh, heh, he's been a virgin longer than me, by about a hundred years! I hope he MEANT that sexy cabin remark. I sure am glad he forgave me. He will probably just think it's my time of the month, which really, really annoys me. Or not, since he KNOWS when it's happening. No secrets from a vampire BF with super senses._

_I gave him a quick, sly kiss, then pulled away from him and stood up, as he did also. I got in the front seat, passenger side, and slid over to the driver's side. No more traffic side walking -- Edward looked terrified earlier. _

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**Edward**

_"_Yes, Bella, I can promise you that. Alaskan cabin, no neighbors for thirty miles, beautiful music, firelight, warming beverages, even wine for you. No parents! How much more romantic can it get?" I raised an eyebrow and winked at her. _God, PLEASE don't let her think I looked like **Emmett** just now! _

_Thank heavens she relented. I dreaded our conflict. I hate concealing the truth from her. It makes me feel like a weasly coward. I want to be a MAN to her, someone she respects and adores, NOT a LIAR. But, my reasons were good for witholding this information. She had ENOUGH anxiety already. Knowing Jacob was a Federal science project would only upset her more._

_I thought she was going to get hit by a car when she got out! Her emotionally-charged behavior made me extremely anxious. Does she even know how much she means to me, how much I love her? I was so relieved when she apologized, I let my guard down. I became sexually aroused. And she LIKED it--she fucking liked how sitting on me got my cock engorged! That little lynx! Yes, she IS a lynx --- the Indian symbol for secrets. She was FULL of secrets. I could guess few of them. **If only I could read HER mind!**_

We'd stopped for only ten minutes, though, with all the draining emotions, it felt like thirty. Bella pulled back onto the highway, once no more cars were in the rearview. She put the cruise control on 120 kph (72 mph). She reached over with her right hand and touched my thigh, "Am I officially forgiven?'

"Of course, Baby, there's nothing to forgive," I replied, placing my hand of top of hers. I reached forward with my other hand to fiddle with the radio, and the news accidentally came on:

"....GNN with an update on the Northwestern United States virus disaster. Sources tell GNN that an estimated 712 people are now dead in the Seattle-Tacoma area. This includes seventeen children under the age of three, several hundred senior citizens and 118 relatively healthy young people. The young people were all cigarette smokers. The Centers for Disease Control research lab in Seattle General Hospital has announced they have an American Indian who became ill, but recovered his health in less than 12 hours, leading to speculation of natural immunity. Tests are being run on this young man around the clock, hoping that the properties of his blood may lead to a vaccine. The CDC has refused to confirm this latter speculation. We remind all our listeners in Washington, Oregon and Idaho: wash your hands frequently and keep your hands away from your face, to reduce virus transmission. GNN will keep you informed as more updates become available."

I changed the radio to Contemporary Jazz. Norah Jones sang "Come Away with Me".

"An 'American Indian' with natural immunity? Edward, the radio did not mention his nation, his tribe," Bella said.

I turned the music down a little. "There are 22 federally-recognized tribes in Washington state, Bella. He could belong to any one of them," I replied, glad I had that fact in my head.

"I wonder if he's Quilieute."

"No telling. He could be Quilieute, Puyallup, Skokomish, Colville, Lummi, Chehalis, Makah, Hoh...."

"That's enough, Edward! I get the picture!" Bella shook her head a little too vigorously. She sighed loudly.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked, confused.

"You get all mired down in facts sometimes, Edward. I know you read fast and retain it all, but reciting it? It makes you sound like a talking computer!"

"Oh. I was just trying to be helpful. Chances are one in twenty-two that he is a Quilieute. Less like a talking computer?"

Bella laughed. "Did I hurt your feelings, Edward?"

"No. I need feedback, and you are honest with me on how I am perceived," I said truthfully. _However, inside I was rejoicing a bit because I managed yet again to confuse the issue regarding who was at the CDC lab. Good thing GNN did not have the boy's name! Bad enough they said he was Indian._

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**Bella**

I kept wondering about the Indian the CDC had in their lab at Seattle General Hospital. Could he be one of the Quileute Shapeshifters_? Their blood was bound to have some unique properties. I'd seen a really nasty grease burn on Jake's palm heal in minutes. Would one of the Pack be able to deflect a lethal virus? _

_What would that mean -- would they spill the secrets of the Cullens and other vampires, once their own secrets were exposed? Would they convince the authorities to go on a vendetta to rid the world of vampires? What would the Volturi do if that happened? Would they retaliate against the human authorities? Would they seek to destroy the Quileute tribe?_

_What about the virus --- would Quileute blood save the humans of the world --- or would the Shapeshifters' secrets stay hidden from the CDC researchers? My head reeled with all the permutations of the scenario._

_And I began to think about Jacob Black. The only one to coax a smile from me after the devastation. The devastating depression that overwhelmed me when the Cullens left Forks suddenly almost a year and and a half ago. I went to school one day in mid-September. No Alice, no Jasper, no Rosalie, no Emmett...and no Edward. None of them said goodbye. I had no clue of WHY they left. I could only surmise that someone saw something potentially revealing about one of them, __and they voted as a family to flee. _

_I was bereft. No letter, no explanation, no forwarding address! I felt as if I meant nothing to Edward, as if I never existed._

_**As if I never existed. **I stopped speaking at will. I lost my appetite. I lost five pounds in six days. I missed a week of school with the comforter pulled over my head, blocking out the light of day. I did not want to even shower nor wash my hair._

_When Charlie found out I had ditched a week of school, he made me go see a Clinical Psychologist. I took a test with hundreds of repetitive questions. I took an IQ test. I looked at inkblots. I looked at dumb sketches and made up a story about each one, as instructed. I took a test with forced choices about vocations. I went back three days later and talked to the psychologist, Dr. Diana Ausman._

_She told me I was extremely bright. I asked what my Intelligence Quotient was, she laughed, impressed I knew what "IQ" meant. _

_"Your IQ is 136. Very high. You could easily complete graduate school. On the Meyers-Briggs Personality Inventory you are an INTP, meaning you are an Introverted, iNtuitive, thinking and perceptive individual. Your complete "opposite" would be extroverted, sensory-oriented versus intuitive, feeling versus thinking, and judgmental versus perceptive._

_Your inkblots were 'within normal limits'. You were creative, strong, and independently stubborn on the Thematic Apperception Test. Your Strong Vocational Interest Inventory showed that you would be happiest working independently, as a researcher, an archivist, a special collections curator or a curator of an art museum or research library. You could also be satisfied as a college professor of English Literature."_

_I burst out laughing, and she looked at me with intense interest._

_"If you only knew how many Classic English books I have read. Many, many times!" I thought a few minutes. "What about the MMPI?"_

_"The MMPI - The Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory - shows that you are depressed, and isolated socially. __We already knew that. You are NOT a "depressive personality", which means we can help you more quickly._

_I would like you to take an antidepressant medication. It's been around well over thirty years. It's safe. You take it at bedtime, to give you good sleep. The antidepressant effect lasts through the following day. It's called Tofranil-PM, the generic name is imipramine. It is a tricyclic antidepressant. You must contract with me verbally that you are NOT suicidal, and that you will take the medicine as prescribed. You must NEVER take more or less than is prescribed for you. Can you agree to that?"_

_"Yes, of course. I am definitely NOT suicidal. I just did not want to participate in a world where my boyfriend vanished."_

_"I can understand that you felt abandoned," she said empathetically. "But the world -- with you in the world -- does not stop because someone else absents himself. Do you see that?"_

_I reluctantly agreed. I took the coral red capsule-shaped medication for six months and saw Dr. Ausman once a week that whole time. I had to give her written permission to talk to Charlie candidly. Something about new confidentiality laws with the acronym HIPPA._

_After that, Charlie took me to the Quileute reservation in LaPush to see his fishing buddy, Billy Black. The buddy's son was Jacob Black. He was barely fifteen, and I was seventeen . His brilliant smile against his russet-colored skin was salve, sunshine in my darkness. Jake was always upbeat, relentlessly cheerful. His glossy black hair was just longer than his shoulders and he kept it tied back with a strip of leather._

_He loved to tinker with motors. He was rebuilding the engine on a 1986 Audi Quattro, and I helped him find parts for it in Seattle. We made a day trip in the old '53 Chevy truck Charlie gave me last August for my birthday. Once Jake got the Audi moving again, we went everywhere together in it. We went to the movies in Port Angeles twice a week. It was there, in the theatre, that I realized Jake thought of us as boyfriend/girlfriend. He held my hand or placed his arm around my shoulder throughout the entire movie. That chilly February night, he kissed me on the way to the car. I was so shocked I slapped his face. _

_"What do you think you are DOING?" I was furious._

_"Bella, I thought you were ready for this. I thought you wanted to take our relationship further. Did I misread you?"_

_"MISREAD ME? WE were FRIENDS, Jake. I do not want to be your girlfriend! I am over TWO years older than you. WHAT were you thinking? That I would be EASY?!"_

_"No, no, Bella. I thought you wanted love from me, I thought you were open to the possibility. I'm sorry. Let's just go back to Forks. I'll take you home and then I will go back to LaPush....Bella, I never thought of you like that. Disrespectfully? NEVER."_

_"Yeah, let's just go back. I don't want to discuss this any farther tonight."_

_And we didn't discuss it. I stopped taking his calls. I let my cell go to voicemail. When he called the house one night about three weeks later, I told Charlie I did not want to talk to Jake. He told Jake I was asleep. Then Charlie said, "Bella, what happened with Jake?"_

_"Dad, he wanted more than just friendship. I don't. Besides, Dad, he's over two years younger than me. At my age, that's a lot."_

_"Bella, did he misbehave towards you?" Charlie looked concerned yet uncomfortable._

_"He kissed me. I neither expected it nor wanted it. He didn't try to go further." I sighed at this wierd conversation._

_"Okay, Bella. If he calls again, I'll tell him the truth." Charlie opened another can of "Vitamin R", and turned up the volume of the taped Mariners game from last season on the flatscreen. This conversation was blissfully at its conclusion._

_I trudged up the stairs to my room and flopped belly-down on my bed. Edward's perfect face flashed in my mind. I buried my face in the pillow and I began to sob. No friends left__, and he was STILL GONE. I cried every day after school for weeks, I told Dr. Austad about it, about Jake expecting more. About my anger that he was NOT Edward. _

_She said I was in the ANGER stage of grief. Brilliant deduction, Doc._

_************_

_Then, April. Last year. Charlie came home from work and I was pulling out lasagna from the oven for our dinner. I heard Charlie pulling off his gun belt and hanging it up with his jacket._

_"Bella? I have something to tell you. Might want to sit down a minute for this."_

_I felt strange._ _"What, Dad, WHAT?" He just looked at me with sad eyes. I sat down at the kitchen table._

_"Bella, Carlisle Cullen came back to work --- at Seattle General Hospital."_

_I sat stunned. The Cullens were in Seattle. What about Edward? "Do you know anything else?"_

_"No, Bella. Doctor Gerundy heard it through the professional grapevine, and was hurt that Carlisle didn't come back to Forks Hospital."_

_"Dad, I have to go to Seattle this weekend. I won't be able to concentrate until I know WHY they left."_

_"I figured as much, Bella. Please let me take you in your truck. I KNOW you hate riding in the cruiser. IF the news isn't what you were expecting, I want to be there for you."_

_I went to bed, anxious but hopeful. Maybe at last I would get some answers._

_When I awoke the next morning, I got the shock of my life. There, in my corner rocking chair, sat the handsomely beautiful Edward Cullen._

_I immediately burst into tears. The weight of the last eight months was just too much._

_I felt the bed sink with his weight. His arms encircled me. I could feel his lips on the nape of my neck, his nose buried in my in hair. I could hear him taking deep breaths. He was inhaling my scent._

_"Bella, I am so, so very sorry that I caused you pain. We HAD to leave. Some hikers saw Rosalie and Emmett hunting and feeding, and Rosalie overreacted. She killed them both. Emmett carried the bodies and left them near a bear den. But still, Carlisle was perturbed. We went to upstate New Hampshire for awhile. Things had to cool down. I can't begin to tell you how much I missed you."_

_I sobbed. "Not even a note, Edward. You ALL just vanished." I pulled away from him. I thought perhaps I was dreaming it all._

_"Bella. It was the the most painful time of my existence. I worried about you constantly, I fought with Carlisle over the decision. I was furious with Rosalie's loss of control, as was Emmett. When we read that the hikers were from out-of-state, and the police investigation had been closed...Carlisle decided it would be safe to return to the area, but not to Forks. As soon as the move to Seattle was complete, I came back to check on you. Bella, have you moved on -- do you not want me any longer? I won't continue to hurt you. I'll go if you want."_

_"NO. I have NOT 'moved on', Edward. I was so despondent I was put on an antidepressant drug! I am seeing a therapist."_

_"Bella. Please tell me you might forgive my family someday. I love you. I am **incomplete** without you. I have been fundamentally changed because of you, irrevocably."_

_I looked up and changed positions, sitting cross-legged on the bed to stare at him. Reaching up, I stroked his hair and his eyes fluttered closed under my caress. I leaned forward and kissed his eyelids gently. He moaned and his chest rumbled, almost a growl. I sighed. That was Edward, BIG emotions. He wrapped his arms around me once again, and began to assault my face with gentle kisses. It was his turn to sigh as he kissed me._

_"I forgive your family, Edward. But you will need to explain your absence in more conventional terms to my therapist...and Charlie."_

_He laughed softly, "I'll manage an alibi."_

_We tumbled flat on the bed together, and I relished the return of physical sensations to my deadened body. I felt like Sleeping Beauty, awakened from my mental coma by the kiss of my Prince._


	5. Chapter 5 Fuel, Food & Fool

Our intrepid young ones, ages 17 and 19... well, ages 108 and 19, truth be told, soldier on through Canada. They are just a few hundred miles from Yukon Territory. Bella reveals her true feelings about several things, and Edward blunders on!

Stephenie Meyer owns these characters.. I just enjoy the angst. This story owned by amymorgan. No copying allowed.

Those forty-two folks who recently put me on story alert. Thank you. Only two of you reviewed! Writing is not automatic. Feedback spurs the writing process. So **please review!**

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**Bella**

I had been daydreaming about Edward leaving right after I turned eighteen. How depressed I got. How Jacob tried to put the romantic moves on me. How angry I was, how desolate I was afterwards. Therapy. UGH. Doctor Diana Ausman, The Therapist.

_Therapist. "The rapist". It was horrible. She made me face things I didn't want to acknowledge. That Edward perhaps made me "lose my identity"? Whaa-aat? We __**were**__ each other's identity. How could a stranger possibly comprehend that? _

_Fate. Mates. Pheromones. Singer. Cantante. Soulmates. Future Lovers. We were all that and more. I could not make that woman understand. She kept talking about "the intensity of first love," as if Edward and I were fifth-graders and it was "puppy love". I would mentally be doing a slow burn when she got on that topic. She had NO IDEA how much we had loved each other. __Such bullshit. I was NEVER going to get over Edward. And I could **not **tell her what Edward really was. Hoo, she'd never believe me. Vampire boyfriend? To Dr. Ausman, **I** would have appeared DELUSIONAL. Everyone knows, vampires do not exist...!_

_But, I **had** to be agreeable to whatever she said and play "good patient" because I knew she was giving Charlie "updates" with my permission. If I withdrew that permission, Charlie would have become very suspicious, not to mention the damn therapist becoming suspicious herself! Who knows what would have happened if I disagreed with her? Would she and Charlie lock me up in a psychiatric hospital? I **was **going to school and doing my homework and cooking for Charlie again. _

_Then, months later, the Cullens returned to Seattle, and Edward appeared one morning in my room. A reasonable explanation for their sudden absence was what he presented, and once the reality ---their reality as vampires --- set in, I forgave his family. What was my alternative? He had been miserable, and furiously so, without me. He'd been forbidden to contact me, by none other than Carlisle. Something about me being the daughter of the Forks' Police Chief. A "conflict of interest". What the hell was Carlisle thinking?! _

_That morning when Charlie knocked on my door to get me up for school, I thought he was going to have a stroke when he saw Edward in my room. Edward explained how there a had been a serious illness in the family and they all felt compelled to come to the aid of "Esme's dear Uncle Dwight". Charlie bought it hook, line and sinker! Doctor Ausman was a tougher sell, but Edward had her misty-eyed by the end of the hour. He was the best damn liar! He told Dr. Ausman that "Uncle Dwight" had a terrible "degenerative illness that left his mind a prisoner in his body". Hell, **I** almost cried for "Uncle Dwight"!_

**Edward**

"Bella? You've been quiet for a long time. What are you thinking about?"

"Uh, I was actually thinking about when your family left Forks. About how Jake tried to put the moves on me. Then you showed back up..."

"Oh, Bella. That was the worst time in my life. Forced to be parted from you. And you, pursued by that _wolf."_

"Edward, Jacob Black cannot change his DNA any more than you can become human again!"

"Ouch, Bella. Hitting below the belt with that last remark, aren't we?"

"I did not intend to hurt you, just state facts. We cannot change _what we are," _Bella stated plainly.

I fell silent. I did not want Bella to start arguing with me over Jacob Black. _I should not have referred to him as a __**wolf.**__ My jealously got the best of me. I desperately thought of a way to change the topic._

"So, Bella. We are still several hundred miles from Yukon Territory. Let's stop once more for gasoline up here at The Hazeltons. The guide says this city is named for all the hazel bushes. You know gas will be hard to come by until Yukon. I'm buying gas containers."

"Edward, I will not be a passenger in a vehicle carrying gas containers!" Bella was insistent.

We pulled into a full-service truckstop. As Bella filled the tank, I slipped out and ran across the street to a sporting goods store. They had exactly what I wanted, and it was on sale. Even better. I bought eight five-gallon gas containers. The clerk tied the empty containers with rope so I carried them back across the street backpack-style, while I carried the awkward aluminum gizmo in my ams in front of me.

Bella looked at me curiously.

"What the heck is that?" She now looked confused, then her mental light bulb appeared! "Oh, yeah. Charlie had one of those. It's a cargo platform that plugs into the trailer hitch, right?"

"Yep. The forty gallons of gasoline will lash down neatly --- OUTSIDE OF THE VEHICLE." I narrowed my eyes at her playfully.

Bella laughed, "Nice goin', hotshot!" She ran in the truckstop to get coffee and a snack. At least that's what I _thought_ she was doing.

I stuck the stainless steel rod into the receiver hitch and put the lynchpin in place. I began filling the gas containers. When I was done, I placed them on the platform and used stretch cords to secure them. We now had forty gallons reserve fuel. I felt much better about the rest of the trip. Driving at night in the Yukon, then in Alaska, would be a challenge.

I paid for the gas, thankful for the heavy cloud cover. I sat waiting for Bella. And waiting. I became concerned.

Finally, thirty minutes later, Bella appeared. She was grinning.

"What were you doing all this time?"

"Edward, they had showers! I gave the lady ten dollars. I got towels, a washcloth, soap, and shampoo! I feel wierd putting the same clothes back on, but I feel so much better! It's been almost two and a half days since I was squeaky clean!"

"Bella, you took a shower in a _truckstop?!" _I shook my head in shocked disbelief. "What would Charlie say?"

"It was sex-segregated, Edward! Ladies and Gents on different halls, with the towel lady's desk in between! And Charlie would say 'More power to ya!' "

"Bella, you should have told me ahead of time. I was getting really worried. You could have been _kidnapped_ from there, and I would have never known it!"

She laughed uncontrollably, "Oh, Edward. You are SO prone to overreaction! Kidnapped from a Northern B.C. truckstop? Edward, this is not Phoenix, or Los Angeles."

"Evil is everywhere, Bella. Vampires are not common, but if one smelled your blood when I was not nearby.."

"You would smell the vampire first, Edward. Stop trying to overprotect me!"

I took a whiff. "Hmm. Bella, they had _strawberry shampoo?"_

She laughed, "Yes, for the ladies they had four kinds to choose from. Strawberry, peach, rosewater and lilac."

"Did you think to get something to EAT before this cleanliness frenzy took hold of you?"

"Yes, Edward, I had a patty melt and some caffeinated soda! How many more hours until sunset?"

"About three hours. Will that sandwich hold you until tomorrow morning?"

"Yes, Edward. I'll be fine. I bought this thermos of coffee and some peanut butter crackers, just in case we are in the middle of nowhere at breakfast-time. Are we ready to hit the road?"

"Ready to go."

"Okay, 'Edward the Navigator'. That forty gallons of gasoline is secure? I won't feel it sloshing and bumping back there?" She deliberately winked at me!

"Ahem," I pretended to clear my throat. "Let's go, 'Oh Clean One'."

She laughed and pulled onto the highway. As she put the satellite radio back on Sixties Sounds, The Zombies sang:

"And if she should tell you 'I Love You', and if she tempts you with her charms,  
Tell her no, no, no, no, no, no...  
Don't hurt me now, for her love belongs to me."

**Bella**

_I was humming along with 'Tell Her No' , but I was thinking about **that wolf**, as Edward referred to Jake._

_The first time I saw Jake shape-shift, I was shocked and frightened. He had done it when I'd become angry at Sam and Paul, and Paul had snapped back at me. _

_I was in LaPush, near Jake's house, when I saw the four of them approaching. I'd accused Sam and Paul of making Jake sullen and depressed. Paul flared at me angrily. Jake came flying out of his house in my defense. I watched as Jake soared over me, and his sweatpants and sweatshirt fell away in tatters, as he instantaneously transformed into to the biggest damn wolf I'd ever seen. _

_Jake was nearly as big as a horse. He looked ferocious, and he wedged himself between Paul and me, growling and taking a protective snarling stance to defend me. I was so scared of the scene in front of me, two young men who'd become oppositional wolves, that I began to sob almost noiselessly, as I backed away. The four of them eventually turned and walked away, covering Paul's now-human nudity. _

_Jake had not shifted back, he was still lupine. I stroked his thick ruff of fur. He growled softly, but it wasn't ferocious, it was a soft growl of pleasure. It dawned on me that he would be naked if he became human again, so I headed into his house to find him clothes. When I went back outside, I no longer saw the wolf. Jake called from the trees. I laid the clothes on a low limb and went back to my truck and left LaPush, my mind reeling with those images._

_It was shortly after that incident that Jacob kissed me outside the theater in Port Angeles and I had a meltdown. I broke up with him and refused to take his subsequent calls, and having to explain the inappropriate kiss to my father was torment in itself. _

_I am absolutely positive Jake was furious when Edward returned a little over two months later. He still hoped I would be HIS. I recalled the note he sent me by mail._

_"Dear Bella,  
I know the bloodsucker is back. We will be watching to see that you are not hurt. Remember my warm arms will always be ready to embrace you, should you tire of the chill of the Undead. Age isn't a factor when you consider the bond we shared, and can again! Please, Bella, always remember who loved you when you were deserted by the Leech familyl  
All my __love,  
Jacob Black"_

_I almost called him. Almost. But Edward was perfect for me, as I was for him._

_When the Cullens returned from New Hampshire to Seattle, Edward had enrolled in UW Medical School, with the intention of eventually practicing NeuroPsychiatry. He was in his second semester when the virus hit. The entire University system had subsequently shut down, so neither Edward nor I had lost credits. It was as if a natural disaster had occurred. My enrollment froze at mid second semester. _

_I had to "dorm it" the first year (a freshman requirement), but after my first year was done, we had planned to get an apartment together. But this was March, Seattle had been invaded by the now-mutant virus, and plans had changed. We were still going to room together, a little sooner than planned. It would not be a Seattle walkup but a 1200 square-foot cabin, just outside Healy, near Denali National Park. Edward reassured me it would be even more intimate. At the very least it might help stave off the virus Edward wanted to keep as far as possible from me. Alaska? Far enough, I think._

_I started wondering if we would have the privacy to finally consummate our love. I did love Edward. Deeply. But he had always been afraid he would lose control and hurt me physically._

_With no other voices in his head, with no other vampires immediately nearby, would he be able to focus? Focus enough to make love to me safely? _

_Only time would tell. And it looks like we would have months to discover each other, perhaps **intimately** in more than just one way. Would familiarity breed discord? It was my very worst fear.__ Would he discover facets of my personality or habits that irritated him, living with him nearly continuously?_

_We would only be alone when he hunted every five or six days, for six or seven hours. Would we argue? Would he fall out of love with me? No, that's too extreme. But if something I did really annoyed him, would he tell me, or be afraid to reveal it to me?_

**Edward**

"Kick up the speed a notch, Bella. We're going to make it to Yukon tonight! The truckstop's gas attendant told me there's hardly any police from here to Alaska."

"How fast, Edward?"

"I think you can safely go 160 kilometers per hour. This Cadillac is built to cruise at speed."

"Edward, you can go that fast when YOU drive. I'll be asleep then." She laughed a little too wickedly.

"All right then, Bella, how about a respectable 120 kph ?"

"Okay, Eddie, 130 kph, comin up!"

She knew I hated the nickname "Eddie". She was razzing me, and hard.

"Please don't call me 'Eddie'. You know I hate that nickname."

She laughed again and put her foot on the gas, and the Escalade's suspension gave us a smooth ride. We drove in silence listening to Sixties Sounds for a half-hour, alternating with my choice of Classical or Contemporary Jazz the next half hour. We did that four times and the miles flew by.

We made it to Watson Lake, the first city in Yukon Territory, by 1900. It was dark, and Bella pulled into a filling station. I filled the tank while she headed to the ladies' room. By the time I paid for the gas, I saw her at the register inside.

She returned quickly with a pint of chocolate milk and a pre-wrapped egg salad sandwich. She climbed in the bench back seat of the Escalade.

"Are you sure that sandwich is okay?" I was concerned about pre-packaged food safety. I wanted NOTHING to compromise her immunity.

She giggled. "They made it here five hours ago. It's very cold, Edward. Want to smell it?" She opened the whole wheat bread so I could smell the egg salad.

I sniffed. It _was fresh._ "Okay, Bella, 41 degrees and fresh. I approve. Dig in."

And she did just that. She relished eating, she loved eggs, and I could hear her lips almost _smack _with enjoyment. I smiled as I smelled the chocolate milk and heard her swallowing as she gulped the treat.

_Why watching and listening to her eat and drink fascinated me, was a conundrum. But I was in love with this beautiful human college girl, and all her reactions were a wonder to me. With just the two of us, alone in the Cadillac, it was so peaceful to me. I had only her spoken voice or music in my head. No yacky, petty voices filling my head, as it was in high school, and then, college._

Bella had finished her sandwich. I pulled my soft hooded sweatshirt off and pitched it to her for her pillow. "Nap time, Bella?"

"You read my mind?" She giggled, and curled up on the bench. "Thanks for turning on the seat heater, Edward," she said pulling the blanket over her.

"My pleasure. Sweet dreams, Bella. I love you."

She audibly sighed. "You have such perfect timing, Edward, I love you, too. Drive fast, baby. I can't wait to get to Alaska!"

Within fifteen minutes she was fast asleep. I pushed the speed up to 100 mph, as there was virtually no night northbound traffic.

We made Whitehorse, the capital of Yukon Territory, by 2215. I had to slow to 45 mph through town, but it was locked up tight. Only a truckstop was open. I pulled in quietly, left the door ajar, so I wouldn't wake Bella. The Caddy took twenty-one gallons. I paid for the gas and slipped smoothly back on the highway. Bella never woke up_. Good job! _

I was listening to Satellite Classical, Mozart's _Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. _The little cities of the Yukon flew by: Haines Junction at 2320, Destruction Bay at Midnight, Beaver Creek at 0200.

Then, at 0245 we approached Northway, ALASKA! The Customs/ICE station was closed. No fanfare. I let Bella sleep, and drove on through the night. Tok, Alaska, at 0330.

I stopped gently and emptied fifteen of the forty reserve gallons into the Caddy's tank. Started up slowly again, to preserve Bella's peaceful slumber. Then lots of tundra, the Alaskan interior. Hundreds of miles of it! We would make Fairbanks by about 0800. We would need to shop for groceries there, for the cabin. Bella continued to sleep soundly. Her even breaths and her heartbeats, 58 per minute as she slept. Those sounds, the sounds of my sleeping beloved, were my compass, my True North.


	6. Chapter 6 White Out !

Chapter Six White Out!

D_ay Three. Our pair is now inside Alaska, on U.S. soil once again. But danger has intruded and resilient Edward makes careful decisions to protect Bella.  
**Please review! **You 54 non-reviewers on StoryAlert, I know who you are! **;}** Speak up, and review!_

Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I just like to scare Edward.  
Story wholly owned by amymorgan. No copying allowed.

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**Edward**

I had slowed my speed by half, 100 mph to 50 mph, when I became aware of snow falling. Then conditions deteriorated further within a half-hour, and I slowed to 20 mph and put on the emergency flashers. I would survive any collision, but my beloved was laid out on the back seat sleeping, without a seat belt.

It was 0445 and I saw the sign "Delta Junction 5 miles". I was hoping there was a filling station open. I crept through the blowing snow, with the fog lamps on, and the windshield wipers on, defrosters going. _Perfect vampire senses were extraordinary, but blowing snow at night? I was worried about Bella's safety, first and foremost. _

Thank goodness! There was a filling station open. I pulled in under the pump awning and stopped the engine. "Bella? Baby, wake up."

She stirred, "Edward? Is it daylight?" She was combing and detangling her _sleep hair_ with her fingers.

"No, Bella, it's white-out conditions. Blowing snow. I want you up front, we are stopping here for a while. I'll get the tank filled."

She sat up and looked toward the highway, and winced when she saw the near-straightline blowing snow. "Ooh, Edward, it looks scary out there."

I helped pull Bella up into the front seat. I crawled back to the cargo area and got our jackets out. I randomly pulled a book out of one of Bella's Book Warehouse bags. I pulled on my own royal blue jacket, and passed her the gold one. Both jackets were lined in polarfleece, and had lined hoods. She pulled hers on rapidly. The SUV, now stopped with the engine off, was getting chilly.

I handed her the book I pulled out. "To get your mind off the weather," I said and smiled at her.

The book was John Steinbeck's _East of Eden. _The illumination provided by the awning lights was sufficient for her to read, and I got out to fill the tank, as well as the three five-gallon reserves on the aluminum platform, which we had used to get here. Neither the wind nor chilly temperatures bothered me. My jacket was all for show_: See, I'm a cold human just like the rest of you._

As I filled the three 5-gallon containers first, a man in uniform with a badge on his jacket and a 9mm sidearm walked up. I had just filled the last one and stuck the nozzle in the Escalade's tank. He spoke after first noticing Bella in the front seat, "Where you folks headed?"

"Fairbanks, sir, for provisions. Then, Healy," I said with perfect sincerity.

"Oh, you got a cabin?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, the road is closed 'til daybreak. Visibility's too poor."

"Can we park here?"

"No problem, young man. There's a cafe over there, a couple hundred feet behind the EZ Mart, where you pay for your gas. Not crowded, either. Just a little over three hours 'til daylight."

"Thank you sir. We barely made it here."

"No problem, son. Take your wife inside and get yourselves warmed up."

"Thank you, uh.."

"Trooper Milburn, Alaska State Troopers."

"Thank you, sir."

"Safe journey to you both." He put his hand to his Trooper hat brim in a tip-of-the-hat gesture, and returned to his cruiser and got on the radio.

_**"Your wife".** I loved that he assumed we were newly-married. It made my dead heart sing. I had a ring in my pocket, and I was planning to propose at the end of spring semester. I wanted us to be legitimately married before we found our apartment together. I didn't want Charlie nor Carlisle and Esme to think we were "shacking up". There would NEVER be anything sleazy about our relationship. _

_I loved Bella with my entire being, whether or not I had a soul. I wanted to be with her the rest of her natural life. Then, I would follow her, somehow. She had argued with me, not wanting to grow old while I looked seventeen forever. But, I had argued for her SOUL versus the "imitation of life" that we vampires had. She argued for spending immortality with me, she had pleaded with me to change her, before she looked like my aunt, my mother, my grandmother. She had cried, telling me of her horrible dream: that she was 80-some-odd years old, withered, sick, and sitting at her bedside was unchanged 17-year-old Edward, holding her hand. She said she'd awakened screaming. That dream weighed heavily on me at times._

The Escalade and the containers had taken forty-one gallons. I signaled to the cashier that we were pulling up. He didn't seem worried in the least regarding payment, as the road was closed! I parked on the corner of the cafe row, so no one could block the Cadillac. I paid the cashier, and helped Bella out of the passenger side.

"Bring the book. We'll be here about three hours."

Bella smiled, and chewed on her bottom lip once. I think she liked the idea of spending time with me, coffee, and a classic book. We stepped inside the cafe and her eyes sparkled in the lights. We found a half-booth in the corner. I ordered coffee for two, knowing she would drink mine. The waitress set the menu down for us to peruse.

I passed her the menu and she indicated she wanted the hot turkey sandwich. When the coffee arrived, I gave the waitress our order. I ordered the German chocolate cake, knowing that Bella would eat that, too. She shot me a glance that said "Assuming much?!"

I laughed a low guffaw so as not to draw attention to us. She smiled and put her warm hand on the top of my knee. I put my hand to my knee and tucked her fingers inside mine.

I spoke up first. "Did you see the Trooper while I was filling the tank?"

"Yeah, I did. Edward, it scared me a little. Then he made you smile. What was that about?"

I smiled now at Bella. "He assumed we were married."

Her face fell. "Oh." She looked a little embarassed. She blushed only enough to petal her cheeks.

"Bella, I was smiling because I loved the idea that he thought we were newlyweds." She blushed deeply and tilted her head down. Even her neck was red!

I leaned sideways, lifted her chin, and kissed the corner of her mouth, slowly, and sweetly. She continued blushing, trying to hide her discomfort with her hair curtained in her face as she leaned away. Thinking "_No time like the present", _I reached into my pocket, and withdrew the two-and-a-half carat oval diamond, surrounded by small sapphires and set in platinum, that had belonged to Elizabeth Masen, my mother.

I stooped down on one knee, and with my left hand, lifted her head to face me, holding the ring aloft. I said, perfectly enunciating each word: "Isabella Marie Swan, I love you with every breath I take. Will you marry me and make me the happiest male on the planet?"

All conversation ebbed away in the cafe. You could have heard salt spill in the back of the kitchen.

Bella sat stunned for an interminable moment. Her eyes were wide, her blush had disappeared. She was pale but radiant.

Then tears started to fall from her eyes and she choked back a sob. "Yes, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. Yes, I **will** marry you."

Scattered clapping in the cafe followed. The twelve people marooned in the cafe, stood up and watched the minor spectacle unfolding for them, in the midst of the blowing snowstorm just beyond the walls of the little restaurant.

Bella stepped out of the booth and fell to her knees to embrace me. I placed the ring on the third finger of her left hand. Then she kissed me, and we both started grinning like idiots. "Why now, Edward?" she asked, finally taking a breath.

"The Trooper made me realize how very precious you are to me. I was planning to ask you when we started apartment hunting in Seattle.."

She interrupted, "And now we are LITERALLY moving in together, eh?" She imitated a Canadianism.

"Yes, Ma'am. Time to let you know I intend to make an honest woman out of you."

She whispered in my ear. "It's not like we're planning on having kids or anything."

"I want every man you meet to know that you are utterly and completely _mine," _I whispered back.

She smiled at me. "You are the most possessive individual I have ever met."

"And you resent that how, exactly?" I snorted. "You know that you love me when I go all caveman on you!"

She laughed softly. "I have _never _felt safer than when I am with you."

I kissed her again. I beamed internally. _She really **does** love me!  
_We sat down in the booth. She took a deep drink of her coffee_._

I risked everything next. "Bella, I applied for a wedding license three days ago. It was faxed to Fairbanks. We can get married there..."

She stared at me, pale and eyes wide.

I rushed in an effort to make this palatable to her. "The license is good for ninety days. It is only a legal formality. We can a have a formal wedding ceremony back in Seattle or Forks, when things....when conditions improve. I'm not pressuring you, Bella. I just want to do _things _right. I cannot completely leave behind the early twentieth century mores and standards in which I grew up."

" I understand that, Edward..." She still looked surprised and stunned.

I needed to give her an "out".

"Bella. Listen, Baby. It's _totally_ up to you."

The waitress arrived with our sandwich and cake. She topped off our coffee cups and walked away.

"Bella, your food's here. Eat your turkey sandwich."

She seemed lost in thought, staring out the window. I am not sure if she even heard me.

I touched her on the shoulder, "Bella? Please either eat or talk to me. Have I hopelessly bungled this? You are making me doubt myself. PLEASE, Bella."

She shook her head. It worried me. Either it meant "NO" or it meant she had shaken off her reverie. She took bites of the hot turkey sandwich, and chewed carefully. She drank almost all her coffee. I watched as the overhead recessed lights danced off her ring, and threw diamond glints up into her face and hair. It was a magical sight. My true love wearing the ring I had seen only on the hand of my natural mother.

Carlisle had returned the ring to me after I had been changed. He said he didn't want the undertakers during the influenza epidemic to get corpse booty by stealing the ring after Elizabeth Masen died. Except for a few photos, it was the only material possession I had left of my family. It truly belonged on the hand of my bride-to-be. My only woman. My wife. **My mate. **Or so I desperately hoped. But had I blown it all just now?

After finishing half the sandwich, she swapped our coffees, and put cream in the coffee that had first been served to me. After she had stirred it several seconds, she put the spoon down on the plate. She glanced at me thoughtfully. Slowly, she began to speak.

"Edward, you saved me from a virus that has evidently killed several hundred people already. You spent your money on a vehicle that cost almost ninety thousand dollars, to transport me to Alaska in total comfort. You bought me winter clothing and let me buy a thousand dollars' worth of books. You fed me and let me sleep, while you did the lion's share of driving.

In other words, you have shown me in material ways and through your considerateness, exactly how much I mean to you. You just spoke the words of love and commitment, and gave me an antique ring which is probably worth more than my family's real estate and cash combined.

Because of this disaster that has interfered with our University experience, I have ignored my discomfort with your family's wealth, particularly when it's used for my benefit. But the presumptive marriage license application threw me for a loop, I must say. Were you THAT sure I would agree to marry you?"

I spoke slowly but with authority. "It was Jasper's idea to fax the application. There is a three day waiting period to get the license. We wanted all contingencies covered. If we had gotten stopped in transit in Canada, I could legitimately say we were getting married in Alaska, and honeymooning in the cabin. We had the pre-dated entry stamps to Canada forged by Jasper, but still...authorities could have stopped us at any time, driving an SUV in Canada with Alaska license plates. The border entrances had been closed and legal tensions were high. Once we got into Alaska, we were safe again. Only, that marriage license application was real, and it's waiting. Jasper even did an excellent forgery of your signature."

"_Jasper is an expert forger."_ She sat quietly mulling that over. "Did you intend for the cabin to _be a honeymoon? _In the literal sense, Edward? Were you intending to deflower me?"

"I had considered it Bella. The last few days have been intense, to say the least. The episode at the side of the road when, I, uh, became excited..."

Bella interrupted me softly, "When you got an erection?"

"Yes. That. I fought that _arousal _for a long time afterward. You continued driving, I couldn't get the scent of your arousal out of my head, I couldn't run away like I could in high school, or UW in Seattle. I was stuck in the Escalade, we had both been aroused. You got over your arousal, but I was stuck. I couldn't run away. For over an hour in the Escalade, I tried thinking of things to make my arousal diminish. Jasper in a negligee. Jasper and Alice's lovemaking noises. Emmett and Rosalie's louder lovemaking noises. Carlisle in a corset. What finally made it go away was imagining Emmett in a bikini. Yech. Instant limpness."

Bella burst out laughing, almost uncontrollably.

"Thanks, Bella. Funny? Not so funny at the time. Painful."

"Edward, you should have told me. I would have _helped you!"_ She looked me in the eyes with a devilish smile, and raised eyebrows.

"Bella, what are you saying? That you would help me take care of my _problem?" _I was really dubious.

"Totally, Edward. Two words: hand job."

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**Bella**

Edward was speechless. I had finally said something that silenced a vampire.

_I would have totally helped him out. But he stubbornly let himself suffer. The vampire masochist. Suffer in silence. Listen to your brothers and sisters doing "it" every night while suppressing your own natural urges. Cannot even utter the word "erection" in my presence! What kind of existence is THAT?_

_I have never touched a penis, but I have read stuff and even Alice embarassed me with a sex primer, "just in case". I had read it when Charlie was on a weekend fishing trip. Alice had printed pictures off the internet, incredibly detailed pictures with anatomical terms like prepuce, glans, frenulum, shaft. I knew, in theory, what to do to pleasure a man. I just had no practice! _

_And who proposes marriage in a blowing snowstorm? He was impulsive at times. Maybe the Trooper referring to us as married really did do a number on his strong emotions. The story about the faxed marriage license application sounded like typical micromanaged Cullen planning. I think I needed to give him the benefit of the doubt on this one._

"Edward, about that marriage license in Fairbanks?" I knew he was "sweating bullets" on this one.

"Yes, Bella, my love?" he said anxiously.

"Let's go forward with that." I waited for his explosion.

He stood up from the booth, swiftly but deftly picking me up from the seat, folding me into his arms quickly. He was holding me up so he could kiss me, and my feet were off the floor. His forehead was wrinkling and his eyebrows knitted together, due to the depth of the emotions he felt. My hands traveled to his hair, as his lips crushed softly into mine. It was by far one of the most intense kisses we have ever shared. His tongue ran the rim of my lower lip and I opened my mouth in response. This was our first "French" kiss, so afraid had Edward been of the effect his venom might have on me. But not today. Not now. I had just told him I would marry him when we got to Fairbanks. His passion had been unleashed at last!

I peeked open one eye. Our audience was back. Some of the weather-stranded cafe patrons were taking in our "show". Some were awestruck, some were amused. No one looked annoyed.

I tapped Edward on the neck, drumming my fingers heavily to get his attention. _He_ moaned softly. I hated breaking the kiss, _Edward tasted divine, incomparable_! But public displays of affection, like this climactic kiss (!), were not my strong suit, and I could feel my blush reddening. My taps on his neck became fingernail raking. He was so immersed in our kiss, he might even think my fingernails were there to urge him on. I finally threw my neck back, and forced apart our lips, gasping with my effort.

I spoke up loudly to our audience: "We're getting married in Fairbanks!" Our little group clapped and I heard "Congratulations" being called out. A lone female voice called out, "Fantastic kiss! Honey, you caught yourself a real MAN!"

Edward sat down in the booth, setting me on his lap. He looked absolutely mortified that his passionate loss of control had not only been witnessed, but graded! He whispered softly, defeatedly, "I am not a real man." He buried his nose in my hair as we waited out the snowstorm. I whispered very softly back, "You are MY man. You will soon be my husband. No self-deprecation permitted. Got that?"

On the back of my neck, I felt his lips curl into a smile, and I heard a muffled "Yes, My Love."


	7. Chapter 7 Fairbanks: A Wedding

A/N Anyone hear wedding bells? It's here, Fairbanks and the wedding. There is a situation in this chapter that is a tip of the hat to one of my favorite TV shows of the 1990s, _Northern Exposure. _A very dry-witted and absurdly funny show about a whiny NY doctor sent to a small town in Alaska! As always, I don't know how my story is received, so **_PLEASE REVIEW. Thank you. * Happy six months to us, Phillip. *_**

These characters (except Greta and Chloe) belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to make them cry. Plot belongs to amymorgan. No copying allowed.

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**EDWARD**

"Yes, we are getting married in Fairbanks in a few hours. I know it's a change of plans. I _can be spontaneous, _you know. 'Bye, now. Bella will be back any minute."

The snow was still falling, though not as heavily, when the sun was due to rise at 0815. Bella went to the bathroom in a four-cup coffee rush. I smiled contentedly. She had agreed to marry me in Fairbanks, and I had _swept her literally off her feet _with my response_. _I had been embarassed by the well-meant exclamation coming from a woman in the cafe and had then admitted to Bella, "I am not a man." Bella had flared at that remark, saying I was her man, soon to be her husband. I couldn't help but grin into her hair as I calmed myself with her scent.

She returned to the half-booth. She met my gaze, and asked if we were ready to hit the road. Then she sat down next to me, _thigh against thigh. _She pulled my head toward hers, and I bent to her kiss.

She surprised me, her tongue darted out to taste my upper lip. I felt myself starting to harden and I broke away from her kiss.

"Bella, I can't walk out of this café with an obvious _erection._" I whispered the word, and she laughed out loud.

"Edward, if I had known that by agreeing to marry you, your vocabulary would be freed up, I would have proposed to **you** months ago!"

She was enjoying poking fun at me. I had been so unnecessarily constricted emotionally, and behaviorally rigid since we had become a couple. It was a vestage of my era. Formal dating did not exist in 1918, wooing with chaperones present was the order of the day. "Courting chairs", as we called them, an S-shaped double-seated chair, allowed kissing and holding hands but no groping or holding body parts against each other. These chairs existed in many parlors, as parents or aunts hovered nearby, reading or knitting.

This modern-day lingo had been a shock to my system. I was struggling to adapt. When I was a young man of seventeen, in 1918, the word _erection _was never spoken aloud, except by physicians.

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**Bella**

Edward was in an emotional whirlwind. He had gone from elation to uncertainty to relief and back again. I wanted him to know that I was _his_, but I wanted him to allow me to stand on my own. It would be a long, hard lesson for him, but if we were going to make it as a couple, he had to learn that love did _not equal possession. I laughed to myself. _He will always think of me as his **mate.** _How much more possessive could you get than that?_

I stepped out of the ladies' room after those four cups of coffee left my system. Edward sat staring at where I'd left his sight just moments ago. When I stepped into his view, his mouth upturned in a breathtaking smile and his eyes crinkled a little. _He was the so very beautiful and so effortlessly masculine. My heartbeat sped up and I knew he heard it. No matter what I said, my physiology gave me away time and time again. I was absolutely in love with Edward._

_I teased him a little. Then, down to business. _"Are we ready to go?"

"Sure, love. Your turn to drive." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we headed into the parking area in front of the restaurant. There was no sun out, the clouds were heavy and still hanging low. We made loud crunching noises with our feet in the snow, making our way to the Cadillac.

He opened the driver's door to the Escalade and held my left hand to assist me up into the driver's seat. "Thank you, Edward," I said. He smiled, reaching over to buckle my shoulder harness and lap belt, before walking around the front of the car and climbing into the passenger seat.

I turned the key and we pulled onto the freshly snow-plowed highway. A half-mile down the road we saw the roadsign that said "Fairbanks 80 miles".

I laughed out loud. "On plowed snow, this ought to take about ninety minutes to two hours."

"There's no rush, Bella. We have to get groceries. Do you want a dress?" He asked, glancing sideways at me.

"A_ dress, _Edward? Why would I...oh, THAT kind of dress. Uh, I don't know if that's necessary..."

"Humor me Bella. Just this once." He climbed back to the cargo area and retrieved his internet-only computer. He googled "Dress shops, Fairbanks". Seven choices, appeared, including a formal wear store for men. He mapped all the options.

"Okay, Bella, I will drop you off at the dress shop on Airport Way, and I'll dash a few miles away to College Street for a suit rental. I'll pick you up you up an hour later?"

"Uh, Edward, does it HAVE to be white?"

"Bella, any white, cream, ivory or soft pastel shade will be great! Is that range of color wide enough for you?" He chuckled, smiling at me.

"Yes, just enough," I replied, with a touch of sarcasm in my voice.

"Good! Then, drive on. I think you can do fifty-five safely. This vehicle IS all-wheel drive," he teased.

I slowly applied more force to the accelerator, and the Escalade responded as sure-footedly as a mountain goat. I was doing sixty miles-per-hour easily. Edward turned on Sixties Sounds on the satellite radio, just for me, I'm sure. I smiled as I listened as The Turtles sang "Happy Together". How appropriate!

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**Edward**

_Yes! I had won a minor victory. She would wear a dress for our wedding ceremony, and I would wear a suit. I was doing a victory dance in my brain. I wonder if the courthouse has a photographer on-site? Photographs would be something she would only think about after-the-fact._

I googled "wedding photography Fairbanks". I found several. One had a cell phone listing. Great! I pulled out my cell and texted, "Are you available to come to courthouse at eleven this morning for impromptu wedding? Will pay extra to rearrange your schedule. I am Edward Cullen"

My cell chimed five minutes later. I read the reply. "Rearranged Denali trip. Weather crummy. Indoor service? Six hundred for complete packet, Two 16x20, 5 8x10, 6 5x7, 25 wallets. Can reorder more later. Sound fair?"

I texted back, "Excellent, see you at courthouse at eleven. We are on Alaskan Highway. Wait for us if a little late, will pay for your time! Terms: cash, ok?"

"Edward, who are you texting?" Bella was paying attention!

"Just a businessman in Fairbanks, setting up my suit options ahead of time. I'm tall and lean, y'know? Not tall and heavy." I was lying to Bella, I felt awful.

"Oh, that's a great idea," she said brightly.

My cell chimed. "Cash always welcome! Will wait til noon-thirty. Thanks for your business. How did you find me?"

I quickly texted, "Internet. Thanks for waiting. Bonus for that." I would tip him one hundred dollars if we were late. It was the right thing to do.

I suggested to Bella she might drive seventy once we were out of the plowed snow and on clear highway. Sure enough, ten minutes later, we cleared the blizzard area, and the road was free of any impediments. She pushed it up to 70 mph. The next sign said "Fairbanks 40 miles" It was 0930. We might make our appointment on time.

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**Bella**

The miles flew by once we hit clear roads. We were now listening to classical, _Peter and the Wolf Overture_. Kind of peppy for classical, and enjoyable. Edward was doing a lot of texting -- for him, that is. I'd never seen him text, and he was faster than any 13-year-old ! I knew he special ordered clothes because his waist was relatively small for such a long inseam.

We were on the outskirts of cloudy Fairbanks before we knew it. It was 10:07. Edward put five thousand dollars in my purse for the dress. I hope they had shoes! I was NOT wearing my waterproof Uggs or my sneakers! Edward gave me directions and I pulled up in front of Greta's Formals. It was a pretty decent sized shop. I grabbed my purse and Edward took the wheel.

"See you in an hour, or less, Baby," he called. Edward was excited. He kissed me through the open window and then pulled away, merging back into the light traffic.

I stepped to the door and entered the shop. It was mostly formal gowns for high school proms, then I saw a separate room with a sign at the top of the doorway: Vintage Gowns. I stepped in the room and immediately was drawn to a wedding gown in antique ecru lace over satin. It screamed "1918"! Three-quarter lace sleeves, an elegant high lace neck with a heart-shaped cutout to the top of the satin bodice. THAT was the dress. It was an SIZE 6, my size! What were the odds, walking into this dress shop in Fairbanks, Alaska, and finding a wedding dress that will just make Edward drop in his tracks? What WERE the odds?!

A voice interrupted my reverie.

"Hello, I'm Greta Merser. I own this shop. I was in the back when you came in. Do you like that one?" She nodded toward THE gown.

"Y-Yes. Hi, I'm Bella. Bella Swan. It's my size, too. How much?"

"I just acquired that one last week through an estate sale. It's been in a trunk since 1917, when the owner married and stored it. It's really a very antiquated design. I haven't priced it yet, but is $1200 out of your budget?"

"May I try it on? Do you have any size seven shoes to match?"

"Sure, try it on. I'll get you some off-white short heels."

I kicked off my waterproof Uggs, and wiggled out of my jeans. I had plain vanilla underwear on. I frowned in the dressing room mirror. Alice, where are you when I need you?!

As if reading my thoughts, Greta returned with ecru shoes with 1.5" heels, as well as some sized undergarments, off-white, very lacy and very romantic. "The panties and bra come with the dress," she laughed absurdly. Of course she knew by the way I was dressed, I did not have on seductive underwear ! She was _giving them to me. _I slipped into the dressing room and switched into the lovely lace beige bra and pants. I returned to the wedding dress room.

I slipped on the dress with her help. It had twelve buttons down the back, zippers were not widely used then. The buttons were satin-covered. When she buttoned the final button, I slipped on the shoes. I turned, backed up a little and raised my eyes to look at myself.

"Oh, my God. It's as if it was made for _me," _I started to feel my tears coming.

_I, Bella Swan, looked beautiful._

_Breathtakingly beautiful. __I looked like Edward Cullen's bride! The bride he might have met in 1918..._

"Bella, are you okay? Do you want me to wrap it on a hanger for you?"

"No, ma'am. I am getting married this morning, at the courthouse."

"Oh, Bella, I had no idea! Let me help you put your hair up. There's a veil that goes with this dress. The head piece is satin, but the lace drapes to the waist."

I followed her blindly. I had never participated in a wedding, much less anticipated being as bride. She pinned my hair up in a loose chignon, leaving a few tendrils hanging loose... the hanging strands of hair that had attracted Edward to my face often in the past. She hat-pinned the veil to the top of my head securely with bobby pins. Then we marvelled at her work. She looked pensive.

"Is he picking you up?"

"Yes, of course, Greta. What's wrong?"

"It's not good luck for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony," she lamented. "Wait, I have an idea!"

She trotted back to the storeroom and soon emerged with a floor-length hooded black satin cape. ''It belonged to a magician, It drags the floor. It will keep your gown a surprise!"

I roared with laughter. What a great idea. It would cover the veil, too!

"I have to pay you for the cape!" I insisted.

"No, 'OLD' dress, 'NEW' shoes. No, the cape is your 'BORROWED'. We need to find your 'BLUE'."

She furrowed her brow. "Earrings!"

She strode over to the display cabinet and pulled out tiny drop earrings with beautiful lapis stones. "BLUE". She helped me put them on. The tiny 3/4" drop earrings set off the high lace collar of the dress beautifully.

"Yes, perfect." I opened my purse and pulled out fifteen hundred-dollar bills.

"You gave me too much."

"No, you fixed my hair and accessorized me, in forty-five minutes!"

Just then, I saw the Escalade pull up outside. I quickly donned the magician's cape and raised the hood over my veil.

I heard Greta gasp as she glanced out the window at Edward stepping out of the Escalade. "He's gorgeous!"

Edward then stepped through the doorway of the dress shop, and I heard him say, "Bella?"

I turned, the cape hiding my antique wedding dress. Edward tilted his head, puzzled. "What is the cape for?"

Greta spoke up, "It is bad luck for the groom to see the dress before the actual ceremony."

Edward sighed, "So you women are ganging up on me?"

Greta and I both laughed. "You poor defenseless male," I said, dripping sarcasm with my voice.

Then I turned, and glanced at Edward, from head to toe. He had on a charcoal gray herringbone suit with black velvet lapels, an ECRU shirt with an upturned, tipped collar and a black silk tie. He was stunning! And his shirt matched the lace on my dress perfectly.

"Whoa," I muttered. "You look the most handsome I have ever seen you." I stared, I could not help it.

He smiled that smile that made me weak at the knees. Then he held out his hand, "Lady, your carriage awaits. We have an appointment at the courthouse."

"Bella, I would say good luck, but it seems he's already found you! A happy day to you!" Greta called. "WAIT, Bella! Your other clothes and shoes - and a proper box for that gown!" Edward stepped back and retrieved them for me.

"Thank you, Greta!" I waved farewell and smiled at her. Edward helped me into the passenger seat. I grabbed the cape closed to ensure the secret of my dress.

The courthouse was four miles away. We were there at 10:57. Edward escorted me in to the wedding room of the courthouse, then he ran in to get the license and ensure the minister had shown up. We had been told he was Methodist, and neither of us had a problem with religious clergy. A courthouse stenographer and one of the local attorneys were to be our witnesses. The court stenographer took me into the anteroom and helped me remove the cape, and fluff out the veil.

"Wait til the photographer sees you," she said.

"Photographer?"

"Oh, yes, Gregory Phillips, the best in Fairbanks. Your young man hired him."

I steamed. He'd lied to me. He was texting the photographer in the Caddy! I wasn't going to get mad at Edward. Not now. He meant well, and if Charlie survived this epidemic, and he found out that I had married Edward...and there were no pictures... want to see a grown Cop cry? Edward had done the right thing. Once more. Yet again he had overthought every detail. Making things as perfect as could be. Gotta love a man that's been around over a hundred years.

The stenographer responded to a knock from the door to the hallway. She handed me a bouquet of lilies, accented with baby's breath. Edward HAD thought of everything! _Lilies stand for purity and new life._

Then I caught my breath, as I heard music. It was my lullaby. How had Edward gotten the CD here? I peeked out the door. Edward was PLAYING it on a Steinway Studio piano, known as the "upright baby grand". I guess this was my cue.

I stepped out and nearly fainted. Charlie stood there with his arm crooked out in an offer to "walk me down the aisle".

"H-How did you get here?" I stammered, tears threatening to well up.

"Carlisle Cullen has connections, and a private jet," Charlie replied, winking and smiling at me. He looked elegant in his dark gray suit. "Bella, you will make Edward faint when he sees you. That dress is beautiful."

"Thank you, Daddy." He was _not_ "Charlie" today, he was my Daddy.

Edward was finishing up my lullaby on the Steinway Studio.

I glanced over and saw Carlisle and Esme, beaming at me. I think Esme would've cried, if she'd been able. Carlisle had on a black suit with satin lapels and a ice blue tie. Esme had on a pale blue silk skirtsuit. They matched beautifully, of course.

Concurrent with the end of my lullaby, I glanced at Edward. He stood up and caught sight of me as he turned from the piano bench. His mouth fell open as he stared at me. I felt penetrated by his gaze, as the small smiles started on his face and mine. Charlie walked me forward and Edward stood to my left in front of Esme and Carlisle.

As I reached Edward, he leaned over and whispered, "You look stunningly beautiful in that dress." His right hand reached out, and I lifted my left hand. He grasped it gently, running a small circle with his thumb over the back of my hand, relaxing me, slowly, soothingly. I felt as if this was an inkling of thousands of tendernesses yet to come. I felt the hairs on the nape of my neck tingle, and I shivered ever-so-slightly. _I was about to marry Edward Cullen. _

My eyes were blurry from the unshed tears of having my three favorite people here for my wedding. No one had heard from Rene in weeks, no telling where she might be. But my focus was on the man, the man-vampire, who had made this day nearly damn perfect. I owed this day to his "Cullen micromanagement". He was still staring at me. I might have holes in my head by the end of the day!

The vows were a blur, I heard myself saying, "Yes, I do. I will." I heard Edward say the same. Then I heard, "By the powers vested in me by the Methodist Church and the State of Alaska, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mister and Missus Edward Cullen! Edward, you may kiss Bella, your bride."

And Edward did. He kissed me so long and so deeply, that Carlisle and Charlie began to catcall him playfully, "Wait for the honeymoon!" He pulled away from the kiss, but he held me in his embrace for quite a few minutes. Then he stepped away, at arms' length. The soul-piercing gaze bore into me again. I could only return it with awe.

The photographer had been unobtrusive. I had seen light flashes but none had been invasive. I wondered what our photos would look like. Would we get to look at proofs? I hoped so.

Edward left me briefly with Charlie, Carlisle and Esme.

"How will I grocery shop in my wedding dress?" I laughed.

"We took care of that earlier this morning, Bella," Esme smiled and Carlisle nodded. "Three dozen eggs, cheeses, fresh fruits and veggies, soups, your favorite teas and coffee. Breads, and flour and yeast to make more bread later. New baking pans and cooking oil, and all the spices. Foil, wax paper, and more. And champagne and some other liquor, including a case of Guinness Extra Stout, I heard that was your favorite? It's all in my vehicle. We can transfer it to the Escalade."

"Oh, thank you, Esme, Carlisle. That is such a relief. Thanks for the alcohol, I may need it to offset your son's intensity!"

All of a sudden we heard screaming. We heard loud running footsteps in the hall.

"Moose on the loose! **Moose in the** **courthouse!"**

Edward motioned with a pointing finger for Charlie, me, and the minister to get into the inner room. We did, and quickly! Esme joined us as well.

I heard Carlisle and Edward talking low, as they did when they did not want humans to hear. I peeked out and saw them step into the hall, then quickly shut the door.

I heard what sounded like someone hitting a wall, followed immediately by a wall-shaking crash/thud.

I heard Carlisle yelling, "I'm a doctor! Anyone hurt? Does anyone need medical attention?"

We came out of the room into the hall. We heard what sounded like a dozen voices yelling that they were okay. Then we heard a scared female voice, "Help me, I fell down the stairs!"

Carlisle grabbed his bag and headed down the stairwell. One of the jurors, still wearing her "juror" badge, had fallen in her rush to get out of the frightened moose's way. Carlisle performed his exam quickly.

"What's your name, dear? I am Dr. Carlisle Cullen."

"I'm Chloe. Chloe Granger."

"You've broken your left ankle, Chloe, my dear. You'll get a cast at the hospital and you'll be excused from jury duty. The cast will stay on six to eight weeks. You will need to stay off it for five full days. Are you married?"

"Yes, a month ago. He works the offshore rigs."

"Oh, well, we will have to get you a Visiting Nurse for the first week. I'll make sure that is arranged. The paramedics will be here soon."

"Thank you. You've been very kind. I was so afraid."

"You will be fine. I would give you something for the pain, but the paramedics need to do their job, too!"

Carlisle stepped away after giving the two paramedics a brief description of the precise injury and her vital signs. He got on his cell to arrange visiting nursing care for Chloe, and Carlisle was paying for it!

Edward returned to the room and gave me a quick kiss, then raised the window.

He stuck his head out the window as Fairbanks Police and Animal Control arrived, "Moose is down! Bring a winch," he called out.

When the officials got to the hall, I heard Edward explain how the moose ran blindly into a fire extinguisher mounted on the wall, knocking the animal unconscious. The Animal Control officer shot the moose in the flank with a tranquilizer dart, thus ensuring the animal would not regain consciousness any time soon. Then the winch was secured to the broad rubber belly band drawn around the enormous animal's stomach. They easily pulled him out the front door of the courthouse, and into a waiting steel cage on the back of a flatbed trailer, pulled by a dually truck. My guess is they would transport him several hundred miles away, and release him.

When Carlisle returned to the room, he and Edward conferred. I gave Edward "the evil eye". He began to laugh, then Carlisle laughed as well.

I whispered to Edward, "_What really happened?"_

Edward sighed, "Carlisle got behind the moose and herded him toward me. When he rounded the corner, I punched him out cold. Then we dragged him under the fire extinguisher. Carlisle put a dent in the fire extinguisher to make it look like a moose hit it. I punched the moose, Bella, because I feared for your safety. Moose weigh between twelve and fourteen hundred pounds. A cornered, frightened moose would see all people as predators."

I laughed. "Our wedding day. March 15th. The day you punched out a moose to defend your brand-new wife," I said dryly.

"To protect **my human mate**," he corrected.

_Damn Edward! He always cuts to the heart of the matter. But still...._

I leaned forward on the balls of my feet and kissed his chin. "Thank you, husband."

People began filtering back into the courthouse, after they had seen the moose hauled away. Some whispered, "A fire extinguisher?" and looked at Edward and Carlisle. Carlisle had been sure to give the fire extinguisher a sizeable dent. They reinforced the story to all who inquired, as if they just came upon the unconscious moose in the hall. Besides, neither Edward nor Carlisle looked any the worse for wear after their "encounter" with the moose. And neither of them LOOKED big enough or strong enough to take on a moose!

Edward motioned for me to come down the hall. We entered a large room that had wooden floors. It looked like a banquet room. At the end of the room was a table with a cake on top. I had a weird feeling about this.

"This was Carlisle and Esme's doing," Edward said, "I did not know about it until just before the wedding."

Esme, Carlisle and Charlie appeared from a side door. The photographer requested formal photos of the wedding party. Left to right: Charlie, me, Edward, Esme and Carlisle. Then Edward and I alone and cutting the cake. Edward allowed me to feed him cake, and I watched, astonished, as he swallowed it. _A vampire eating cake! No sacrifice too great for our wedding day. I would have to ask him later to describe the taste in detail..._

I served everyone cake and the photographer shot a few candids as we chatted happily. Then, as I was talking to Charlie, I saw Esme and Carlisle talking seriously with Edward. I saw him frown and shake his head "no" as he glanced at me. _Something was brewing!_

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**Edward**

Esme and Carlisle wanted to give us two days and nights in a Bridal Suite at Seven Gables Inn. I explained this to Bella, and I told her I thought we were spending too much time around strangers. However, I could tell that she was quickly warming up to the idea.

"Edward, a warm room, a queen-size bed, and a jacuzzi tub in the bathroom big enough for two? Room service for me? Please? Tell them yes, for me."

_I had talked her into wearing a wedding dress, not in her plans. She was giving me the sad eyes. What's fair is fair_...

"All right, Bella, two days. Then we are on our way to the cabin near Healy, okay?"

Bella threw her arms around my waist and squeezed. "You know this will work out best for us Edward, I won't be shivering!"

I grinned at her summary, and walked back over to Esme and Carlisle.

"She talked you into it, didn't she, Edward?" Esme smiled coyly.

"I asked that she wear a wedding dress and she caved, for me. I'm learning relationships are about give-and-take."

Carlisle slapped me on the back. "Very quick study, Son. If the wife isn't happy, ain't no one happy!"

Esme punched Carlisle in the ribs good-naturedly. Carlisle recoiled as if it really hurt, but then he laughed and wrapped his arms around her.

_I quirked an eyebrow at their theatrics and wondered if Bella and I would be doing that decades from now. How familiar would we become with each other? Right now I was concerned about consummating our marriage_. _I was always afraid of hurting her, I would need to be vigilant and careful. I wanted desperately to make love to her tenderly, the way she deserved to be worshipped and cared for. I knew that once we had made love, my feelings would change. Both Emmett and Carlisle had talked with me about bonding with your mate, and how profound a change it is. I could only imagine what Bella might mean to me tomorrow morning..._


	8. The Inn of Many Pleasures Part I

A/N The Honeymoon in Fairbanks: Graphic alert. If you are not 17, find another story to read. I will be breaking NEW GROUND here, because it is necessary to the story. If you are squeamish about medical procedures, FAIR WARNING! It **is** a honeymoon chapter-- citrus alert. You have been cautioned. And let it be known that there are certain words overused in citrus scenes; you will notice those words because they will be conspicuous by their absence in this chapter! ;} Greetings to Alex, Bev and Susan: we share similar sensibilities.

Whether you love or hate this chapter, **please review!**

Disclaimer: These characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I just like to make Edward suffer for his love.  
** This story and plot belong to AmyMorgan. No copying allowed. **

SONG for Bella's POV: _Edge of Desire_ from the new John Mayer CD, _Battle Studies_. Classic conflict of emotions: raw sexual desire versus fear of rejection... Edward's dilemma. Bella understands him and gets it right! I picture Emmy Rossum (Phantom of the Opera) as Bella.

Phillip, my husband: Thank you for your sense of humor, and your proofreading. And for being Italian.

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**Edward**

We were getting ready to leave and accept our wedding gift of a two-night bridal suite stay from Esme and Carlisle, when Bella stopped and walked over to Charlie.

"Daddy, are you going back to Forks tonight?"

"Bella, you know that's my job. 'To Serve and Protect,' I would be a coward not to return to my post immediately."

"Oh, I just knew you would say that. Be careful, Charlie, I love you so much. You've meant so much to me these last couple of years. You are so responsible! You have been the parent I always needed."

"You know I won't take unnecessary chances. I **will** be careful. Now go take your honeymoon. I love you, Bells. Be happy with Edward.... MISSUS Cullen!"

I watched Charlie and Bella hug. I could see the tears forming in his eyes; he sighed, blinked, and the tears were gone. Bella let her tears run freely. She was having trouble letting go of her father, fearing for his return to the area where the virus was most active---and most lethal.

Esme walked over to me, "Carlisle and I will put the groceries in the Escalade. The low temp at night is about 24 degrees, so the food will keep until you get to the cabin. We'll need your keys for a few minutes."

I gave her the keys to the Caddy. "Thanks, Esme. You and Carlisle made this perfect, and bringing Charlie, for Bella...I cannot thank you enough for that. But how did you get him away from his job?"

"Carlisle knows him from the hospital ER, so he had the King County Sheriff call Charlie to come in for some 'emergency training'. Then we kind of told Charlie that Bella was getting married, and he could not jump in our jet fast enough."

I laughed softly. "I wish I could have seen the look on his face. Concern mixed with sadness, I'll bet. Charlie only tolerated me, I thought."

Esme shook her head. "Charlie was honest. He told us on the plane that he was relieved that Bella had chosen you, Edward. He said Bella would never want for anything. He's a proud man, Edward. He wants his daughter to be better off than him. He knows that she will finish college now that she will be financially secure."

"Bella's tuition was a strain for him?"

"He took out a loan for her university education." Esme glanced down at the wooden floor.

"Can we pay off that loan somehow? Discreetly?" I couldn't bear the thought of Charlie, a public servant making less than $45K a year, wasting his retirement money on Bella's college expenses.

Esme smiled broadly. "Carlisle and I have already discussed it. We can contact the financial institution directly with a grant to pay off all education loans. That way Charlie will never know it was us."

I leaned forward and hugged Esme. She smiled, hugged me back, waved the keys and walked away.

Bella approached me with Charlie in tow.

"Edward, does Carlisle know anything about the status of a vaccine for the virus?" Bella's face reflected her concern. Her eyebrows were quivering with her distress for her father. Her eyes were brimming with tears. She knew this day might be the last time she saw her father alive.

Carlisle heard her, and left Esme after whispering his intent to her, as Esme left to transfer the groceries to the Escalade.

"Bella. Charlie." Carlisle nodded to them in greeting.

He continued, "All I know is that the CDC researchers have that young Indian that recovered, and they are working with his blood to make a vaccine. Any of the infected's relatives would readily volunteer to be tested, I'm sure. In an epidemic of this nature, testing ethics are modified. There won't be FDA --- U.S. Food and Drug Administration --- approval necessary on this vaccine. As soon as they have it, it will be tested immediately only for efficacy. First Responders: doctors, nurses, firefighters, EMTs, paramedics and police will all be vaccinated first. I will make sure that Charlie's Forks P.D. has priority. I'll leave Seattle to vaccinate them myself, if need be. So, Bella, don't worry. I will make sure Charlie will get the vaccine."

Bella seemed reassured. She looked at Carlisle, stepped forward suddenly and embraced him, kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you, Carlisle." She laughed, tears slowly falling down her face. "I have _two fathers _now!"

I heard Carlisle's thoughts. He was overwhelmed by Bella's admission, and was struggling with what to say in response. His eyes were soft.

"Oh, now Bella, I'm just your Father-in-law. Charlie has _your heart."_

Charlie leaned over to shake Carlisle's hand. "I think she said it right, Carlisle. Bella's special. She will need _three men_ to look after her properly. I'm glad she married for** love**." Charlie turned toward me.

"Edward, I didn't like the way you left and broke Bella's heart almost two years ago. But you've more than made up for it by the way you've treated her...I can say now, that I can't think of a better man for her to have chosen."

I swallowed hard, a human affectation appropriate to this moment. His thoughts were hard to read, but he seemed sincere. "Thank you, Chief Swan. I promise you I will keep Bella safe. She means more to me than anyone or anything."

He narrowed his eyes. "She'd better damn well be the most important. You have married _my daughter."_

Bella slapped him on the forearm. "Charlie, be nice! Edward won't allow anything to hurt me!"

Charlie laughed, "Oh, Bella. I have to torment him a little! He just stiffens up so damn well, as if I just pulled my shotgun on him!"

I laughed nervously at the mention of firearms --- I thought that was the appropriate response. Charlie slapped me on the back good-naturedly. "Ah, Edward, loosen up. I was just kidding about the shotgun!" Bella smiled wincingly at me as if to say _Sorry about my father._

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**Bella**

We opened the door with the keycard and stepped into the bridal suite reserved for us by Carlisle and Esme. It was elegant but comfortable. The poster bed had pillow shams and bolsters and the bedspread was an understated cream color with a trellis rose print. There was a suitcase already open on the table at the foot of the queen-sized bed, and I glanced at Edward. He shook his head like he didn't know anything about it. He busied himself adding another log to our suite's fireplace.

I walked over to the suitcase and saw that it was brimming with lingerie. It was all my size. I was unpinning my hair and shaking it loose from the confinement of the chignon and the headpiece, when I noticed a card in the side pocket of the suitcase. The envelope was embossed with the letter "A". I opened it and read,

"Dear Bella,  
_Hope this makes up for my absence at your_ _Fairbanks Wedding.  
(Oh, we'll have a formal wedding later that I can help plan!)  
I just had to make sure you had some proper honeymoon things.  
Esme wouldn't let me send the toys (she's a killjoy!).  
My best to you and Edward. Don't break the bed!  
_Love, Alice_"_

Edward saw the embossed envelope and sighed, "Alice sent these?"

I nodded. "I knew she would have the last word! But they are really nice things." I held up a black teddy and I could swear Edward responded by looking paler than usual!

I turned away from the lingerie and toward Edward, looking at him shyly, "Will you help me get out of this?" I turned my back and presented him with the twelve satin-covered buttons of the wedding dress. I heard him inhale raggedly. He lifted my hair and pushed it back over my shoulders, and he slowly undid the buttons, with care and complete concentration. He started at the top, near my neck.

When eight of the buttons were undone, I was surprised by the feel of his cool lips softly kissing the sensitive spot between my shoulder blades. I exhaled softly, "Edward, so nice." He continued to unbutton the dress, as I started to gently extract my arms from the delicate lace sleeves.

When Edward had finished with the buttons, I started to struggle out of the dress, when I heard him say, "Allow me, please, to assist you." He pressed the gown's skirt down with one hand and offered me the other hand to help me step out of it. There I stood, in the strapless brassiere and skimpy lace underpants, while Edward held my hand. It was the least amount of clothing he had ever seen me wear. He scooped up the dress off the rug, his eyes fixed on mine, and said, "Where is the box for this lovely gown?" His focus on properly storing the wedding gown made me feel less awkward standing there half-naked, and therefore, much less vulnerable. Sometimes, Edward's sense of propriety was all in his timing. And on this occasion, his timing was perfect.

I smiled and pulled the box from one of the bags he'd brought up to the room. I opened it up on the bed, and he began to carefully lay the dress inside the box. We closed the box and slid it under the bed.

When he stood back up, I grabbed him by the tie, grinning. I began to loosen his tie, while he worked on pulling off his belt. _I like that he wants to get undressed, and he's helping me._

Once I'd removed his tie I started unbuttoning his shirt. _Nice, Edward, no undershirt! Straight to the chest._

He pulled the ecru shirt off and tossed it on the dresser. I placed my hands flat on his chest and smiled, sighing, "I always have liked your chest, Edward."

"Likewise, Bella." And with that he swept me up in his arms and laid me down on the bed. "That strapless bra is just too tempting."

"Whoa, boy. Off with the trousers!"

He half-laughed, stood back up, and quickly kicked off his shoes, not stopping to untie the laces. The trousers and socks quickly followed, tossed rudely and haphazardly on the floor.

Edward's pale chiseled skin contrasted against the dark blue silk boxers, as he knelt on the edge of the bed. He leaned over and kissed the swell of my right breast tenderly. I reached up to run my fingers through his hair, as I sought to urge him closer to me.

"You should help me out of this contraption, so you can _properly kiss them,_" I softly said, and it was as if I had given him permission to go full steam ahead. He flipped me gently to one side and unclasped my bra. He pulled it away and laid it on the bedside table.

He returned me to my back very gently, and let his hands trail gently over my breasts as he kissed my neck. He was tasting and exploring me with his tongue. He slowly let his kisses roam down to the hollows of my collarbones. He kissed the space between my breasts and slowly, tortuously, ran his tongue around it.

"Edward, you are killing me," I moaned. He let go with a muffled little devilish laugh in response. I shook my head hazily, and was about to smart off at him again, when I felt his lips on my left breast, and his fingertips on my right. It was the sweetest torture, feeling him tease my nipples with his fingertips and his tongue. He alternated until both of my breasts were swollen from his attention.

I had been all this time, undulating my pelvis in a wave-like motion against him. I'd been unaware of this instinctive behavior, I was so focused on the sensations of Edward's kisses on my breasts.

I became aware of this behavior, finally, because on one of the upward thrusts of my pelvis, I felt it.

I felt it and it felt enormous.

Edward's erection was pressing against my lower thighs.

And, impulsively...I reached down and touched it._ I couldn't NOT touch it. _

As I tentatively placed my fingertips _there _over his boxers_, encircling part of his girth, _I was shocked by the bone-rattling feral growl emanating from Edward's chest.

He sounded like a startled lion.

My fingers froze in place. "Edward...have I d-done something wrong?" _I was afraid of him for the very first time._

No response. He was hovering above me. His head was flexed up and away from me. I could not see his face. I was really starting to get worried now.

"Edward, please."

Another interminable thirty seconds or so passed.

He finally spoke.

"Bella, I am trying to calm myself. I did not expect you to take that kind of initiative, to touch me there. I was taken by surprise, that's all."

I gave him time. I was truly afraid to move my hand.

"I am sorry about **_the growl_**. You set off an instinctive reaction. You have no idea how much pleasure your touch brings me."

My smile was only in my head for the moment, for it seemed Edward's behavioral control was tenuous, at best. He'd always told me how worried he was that he would _hurt _me. _And yet, **we** **were married.**_

I decided to act preemptively.

"Edward, roll over on YOUR back. Now, please."

"Bella?!"

"NOW, Edward. ON YOUR BACK. On your back, or this marriage is over before it's begun!"

He rolled over on his back.

_My threat worked. My hollow, hollow, empty threat!_

I quickly removed my lacy underpants. I then worked his silk boxers down his legs, and dropped them off the end of the bed. I wasted no time. _I glanced at his erection, and noticed some extra skin halfway to the base. A vampire thing? _

I climbed onto Edward, straddled him, and rested my knees against the sides of his lower chest. I slowly lowered myself onto his erection. I watched as his hands grabbed the sheets and drew them into his fists, fighting for control. His eyes were tightly closed. I know that his senses of touch and smell were also overloaded, so it did not surprise me that he had shut off his visual input.

I eased on and off his erect penis slowly and shallowly. _I guess we both had to be gradually accustomed to this. He felt different than I had imagined. Larger but warmer. _

I allowed myself to lie down on his chest. I massaged his upper arms gently, trying to get his biceps and triceps to relax. I saw his tightly-clenched jaw muscles quiver out of the corner of my eye. I flexed my pelvis and rocked myself so that he was a little deeper inside me.

I watched his face carefully. I could see his eyes rolling around beneath his lids. Was this as pleasurable for him as it was for me? Could he not just let go and allow himself to participate_? Hell, why not ask him?_

"Edward, do you feel this? It feels glorious to me. It would feel amazing if you would join me. You won't break me, Edward. I know you won't let yourself do that. I love you, _**my**_ **_husband._**"

The very next second I was on _my back again_, and Edward was still inside me, the same depth as before. He had flipped us precisely so that we had merely swapped positions. I looked up into his dark amber eyes and smiled, "Welcome back, Edward. Please make love to me."

He smiled back at me, but his lips quivered. I reached up and touched his face. "We're partners, Edward. I want you. I want you inside me. I want to feel us joined. I know you do, too. However fast or slow you need to go, it will be all right with me."

His arms were at my sides, palms flat against the bed, as if he was halfway through a push-up. He shifted and he was on his elbows. He rested with his forehead against my hairline. He tilted his head to kiss me and I felt his tongue graze my lower lip. I opened my mouth to his gentle request. His tongue swept against mine and I tasted the glorious sweetness of Edward. He kissed me for the longest time... I ran short on oxygen so I inhaled deeply through my nostrils and my lungs were filled with his scent! I was positively filled to the brim with _the scent and taste of Edward._

He began to move more inside me. Very slowly, I raised my knees toward my head and wrapped my legs around Edward's waist. He moaned loudly into my mouth and then broke the kiss. He closed his eyes again, apparently once again deep in concentration regarding his control. I continued to gently rock my pelvis upward onto his erection. I did not want this _sex,_ this first attempt at intercourse, to stop because Edward was anxious about hurting me. I wanted him to at least passively feel how connected we could become!

"Edward, feel me? Feel me loving you with my body? Are we not **mated** to one another?"

I heard his chest rumble again, but I held fast to my embrace and my vaginal contact with him.

Again his chest rumbled, but it was _plaintive_ this time. _It was almost as if his__ fear and anxiety were faltering, crumbling !_

_I was sure that more verbal reassurance and affirmation of my love for him would help._

_"_Edward, we are two halves of a whole. I am the yin to your yang. I am the one constant stable force in your universe of chaos! Trust me, Edward. Let go of your anxiety and let us be the lovers we are meant to be. Please...I love you and only you, Edward."

A heartbreaking tenor-range keening noise emitted from Edward's throat, and I felt it in my chest. It was primordial. It was the sound of extreme stress. Of indecision? Or submission to desire ?

I tightened my embrace of his chest and maintained my position around him, my legs wrapped around his waist, my warmth surrounding his length.

I felt him swelling inside me as I stretched my neck, seeking to kiss his beautiful, angular jaw. I felt him inhaling as he sank his nose in my hair.

**_I_** **_felt his tension subside._**

**_I felt him relax into me._**

I felt him nibbling on my left ear, and I tried to stifle my nervous giggling.

I felt his cool tongue start the trail of torture...on the nape of my neck, the side of my neck, my collarbones, as he twirled my hair to his nose.

He was embedding himself in my scent.

He was abandoning his self-doubt.

He was letting go of his self-torture.

He was making love to me.

We met each others' thrusts, pelvis against pelvis. He suddenly whispered, "Bella, your hymen...it's made...it's made mostly of blood."

I sighed, and gently touched his face. "I lost it after I took a fall from a horse, when I was twelve."

I heard him quickly sigh.

He was _relieved.  
__No torture from the scent of my blood....today._

I heard him move ever so slightly above me.  
"Edward...?"

Before I could finish verbalizing my thoughts, he'd changed his position above me. This new angle of entry was _just amazing._ I felt him stroking, almost _chafing_, an area deep inside me that I never knew existed. The sensations were exquisitely arousing. It was nearly beyond belief to me. It was by far the most erotic, intense sensation I had ever experienced. Added to this, I felt like Edward's _very _anatomy felt more intense, as if he was _moving twice_ inside me.

I slowly began to feel myself tighten and release repeatedly against him as he stroked deeply inside me. I felt as if I was watching myself from above the bed, out of my body, watching myself make love, and being loved by _the only ONE who ever truly mattered._

I felt my toes straighten then go _en pointe, _curl under, almost touching the bottom of my feet. My back began to arch, and suddenly every muscle in my body was tighter than an overwound mantle clock. I felt my vaginal walls flutter against Edward and then lock tightly. My brain felt like it was on fire and I saw whiteness in my closed eyelids, as I heard him cry out my name slowly, reverently. I felt his fingers tighten gently around my shoulders and arms, and then I felt him as he released his fluids deep inside me. I felt myself pulsing my wall muscles around him slowly. It was if I was trying to _**pull him inside me and never let him go.**_

Edward groaned softly, and rolled to my right side, remaining close and maintaining contact with my body. I glanced at him, and he had the most lazy but intense smile on his face as he gazed at me adoringly, lovingly. He murmured, "I thought you were trying to squeeze every drop from me," and he grinned impishly.

"I was! Believe me, I wanted everything you gave me...I never thought I would -- or could --- feel this, this strongly connected to someone. This _free_ to touch and be touched."

"You treated me the way I needed to be handled. I was crippled by my fear of **hurting you.** I was nearly having an anxiety attack. It was almost as if you _read_ _**my** mind,_ Bella. We _**are** truly meant _for each other."

I reached over with my left hand and tenderly stroked his forehead. "You just overthink things, silly vampire."

He laughed out loud in massive relief. "I am definitely guilty as charged."

The heat from our lovemaking was dissipating quickly, and I felt a chill come over me. "Edward, would you put another log on the fire for me?"

"Of course, My Love." He arose from the bed and without any apparent self-consciousness, walked to the fireplace naked. He bent down on his knees and put two more logs on the fire and pokered them in place with the black iron tool. I watched him rise and walk back toward me. I gazed at him smiling as he slowly walked back. He was grinning at the fact that I was roaming his beautiful body with my eyes.

I looked below his waist and at his non-erect penis. I caught my beath suddenly at the sight. Of course, he heard me.

"What? What's wrong, Bella?" He glanced down at himself.

"You are...not...not circumcised." I stared, almost stammering.

"No, baby, I am _INTACT__. _Circumcision wasn't popular in the U.S. until the mid-1950s. I was born in 1901."

I felt like an idiot. "I thought it w-was routine. You just look _different._ I'm sorry, I didn't mean to gasp like that! So, that extra skin. It's removed in circumcision?" My words raced out from embarassment.

"Yes, _about twelve square inches _of prepuce, or foreskin."

"Ow! Why do they do it?" I asked softly. My curiosity about this was intensely piqued.

"The United States medical community believed it would reduce sexual aggression and masturbation. They convinced pregnant women and new mothers that it would be easier to take care of a male infant if his foreskin was removed. He would be _easier to clean._"

"Yikes, isn't that painful for an baby?"

"Yes, and it is more than occasionally botched. All circumcisions leave scar tissue, which leaves sexual sensation decreased for the adult male. More than occasionally an incompetent doctor cuts like a butcher, and that can result in complete loss of function, infection and gangrene. More than a few have lost theirs entirely..."

I stared at him gaping. "Oh. My. God. Is this done a lot now?"

"About 45% of male births in the U.S. today and 10% in Australia. It IS routine and required of all Muslims. It's on the rapid decline in Judaism. The rest of the world, it's rare."

"How do you know all this?"

"Perfect recall, Bella. I needed to be aware of how males function today, in case you were attracted to someone else while we were _dating_..."

"**Never!**" I said grabbing his hair and kissing him fiercely. "No one else EVER caught my eye. It was always just you! Besides, I'm a new fan of intact vampires. I knew I felt something different _down there."_

He laughed. "I'm glad! It seems as if I have _some_ talent as a lover. Some famous men brag about themselves being intact."

"Who?" Now I was really curious.

"Oh, there's an entire website devoted to intact men. One of the most notable is the Irish actor Colin, who reportedly whipped it out and showed it to an party guest who'd said foreskin was "gross". He said in an interview that she was fascinated by his _display,_ and that he was proud he'd done that! Most U.K. and European men, Italians, Greeks, Asians are intact. Latinos too."

"Hey, you're in great company. But I am glad you're _mine."_

Edward laughed again._"_Bella. Strange, tangential conversation for a wedding night! Are you hungry? It's almost six o' clock and we skipped meals for the wedding."

"I could eat. Order me some broiled salmon and broccoli. Chocolate dessert. Skim milk. Hot tea---Lady Grey, if they have it."

Edward reached for the phone, but I put my hand on his forearm and said, "Later, baby."

He smiled and bent down to kiss me. We lost track of time, and I was soon nose-breathing for oxygen once again, as he appeared to be practicing his French kissing technique! Not too soon, he pressed inside of me slowly, and I moaned as he began stroking deep inside. He reached down and very gently pulled my legs up so that my ankles rested on his shoulders. I soon felt his tip bump up against my cervix. It was an overwhelming sensation, knowing he was that deep inside me, at the very entrance to my womb. I was crying his name softly as my orgasm washed over me. I refused to allow him to roll off me. I wound my arms tightly around his neck, kissing his face, whispering, chanting, "I love you. Only you. Only you. Only you."

_I felt so connected to him that I might die if he vanished now. I felt as if my heart, body, and my very soul were inexorably committed to him. Forever. _


	9. The Inn of Many Pleasures, Part II

I apologize for the delay in posting this new chapter. I was ill in February. Then my husband gave me front-row tickets for John Mayer concerts in three cities (!). We were caught in the blizzard in Denver on 3/23, marooned in the lovely Curtis Hotel for two days. No matter what you think about John Mayer, he's a gifted musician, and his behavior and speech were exemplary. Nobody has a hotter blues guitar than the Stratocaster-wielding Mayer!

It's the end of the honeymoon. Edward hunts, and Bella...well, read on. Please review! And vote on poll on profile page.

**The Cu****llen Newlyweds belong to Stephenie Meyer. Hey, Steph, finish Midnight Sun, already! **

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Bella

I was now officially hungry. Sex twice in less than two hours and the psychological ordeal of bringing Edward back from his near-fugue just wore me out. Edward made the room service call, and my salmon, broccoli and dessert arrived exactly thirty minutes later. He took the cart from the hotel waiter at the door - he would not allow even that contact, if he deemed it an unnecessary risk.

I wolfed down the healthy repast in less than twenty minutes.

"Bella, I need to hunt, and I think it's best if I go while you are safe in the hotel."

"Okay, baby. I promise not to do anything but sit by the fire and read. Nothing remotely hazardous to my health." I made a big gesture by plopping into the oversized chair and ottoman in my robe.

"Bella, I sense some sarcasm."

"Why Edward, what would make you think that?"

"Your behavior. You're ridiculing my concern for your safety."

I stood back up, and wrapped my arms around his waist, snuggling my head against his chest, trying to be conciliatory. "Really, Edward, I promise you I will stay put. I will not even shower, since I could conceivably fall and knock myself unconscious in your absence. I really do appreciate your worrying about me. I just like to tease you a little once in a while."

He responded by running his fingers through my hair gently. He kissed my forehead, then whispered into my right ear, "I love you, Bella. It would crush me if any harm befell you while I was out hunting."

I looked up and gazed into his darkened eyes, and all the pained earnestness there. With all the sincerity I could muster. I kissed his chin and whispered back, "I love you, too. Remember why we married. We vowed to honor, and that means each others' feelings. I apologize for not taking you seriously. I will take absolutely no risks while you are gone."

With that exhaustive discussion completed, Edward opened the bay window on the south end of the room, popped the screen and pulled it into the room. Then he slid out the window noiselessly and dropped the thirty feet to the ground below. He waved once as I pulled the window shut, and then he was gone in less than a blink of my eye.

I remembered my promise and walked to the comfortable dark green leather armchair and sunk in, kicking my legs onto the matching ottoman. I pulled the bookmark to get to my place in East of Eden.

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EDWARD

Bella had reassured me with her words, eyes and touch.

I blurred out of her sight and focused on hunting. Thirty minutes out I caught the scent of elk. I sighed. Better than deer, not as satisfying as bear or mountain lion. Predators always taste better than herbivores.

But my whole objective was to hunt quickly and leave Bella alone and unprotected for the least time possible. Elk would have to do! Once I spotted the herd, I picked out a bull that well past his prime. He was eleven hundred pounds at least. Probably a little over six pints of blood.

I made a run for him and did not miss. Three seconds, and my hands brought him down, as my razor sharp teeth made short work of tearing through his vasculature, as I swiftly slit open his jugular artery. I drank greedily as the hemoglobin-rich blood of the sacrificial bull elk renewed my strength. I drew the life-force sustenance of the elk and felt stronger immediately, a rush of satisfaction and warmth spread throughout my being. I smiled, thinking if only Bella 'felt' my 'warmth'.

However she would be simply pleased my irises were returning to their (fed) golden amber color. I could feel her tension as my eyes darkened over the last day or two. She knew to tread lightly on my emotions when my eyes were very dark. I must look very scary to her at those times.

The elk was not sufficient, and having scared the entire herd off, I found myself deeper in the forest. I heard a wolf pack calling to each other, miles away. Their howls were oddly followed by low growls. I wonder what was amiss in their territory.

I smelled a herd of musk ox, their pungent fragrance saturating the old growth trees and shrubs as I ran toward them. I saw their pupils dilate in fear. The herd slowly scattered as I got closer, but I was faster.

I found the largest of the weakest herd members as I sped through the forest. It was an elderly female, no longer able to produce young, probably an "aunt" to young ones. I did not feel any compassion for their plight. It became harder and harder for me to drink from herbivores.

It bothered me less to thin the herds than to consider the alternative of drinking from humans. I had done so in the early 1920s during my so-called adolescent "rebellion". This brought my thread of thought back to Bella. I was close to full from the elk bull and musk ox cow, and I needed to get back to Bella.

It would make me gone almost three hours by the time I got back.

It was 2220 and she was likely asleep by now. I pictured her asleep in the chair awaiting my return, book fallen closed in her lap. I had to get back to her and soon. I found a stream not totally frozen and I washed my hands off.

I ran back to the Inn and jumped up to the bay window. Bella had left the latch unlocked and I had to do was flick open the sideways window. I slipped in and replaced the screen.

She was just recently asleep, as her respirations were eighteen, not yet into REM sleep, or deep slumber. I gently bookmarked her book and set it on the table. I shook her gently to awaken her and she smiled.

"Edward, you're back," she murmured. She glanced at my eyes and sighed. They were their normal "fed" golden color now, and all would be well in her world, or so it seemed.

"Are we good to go, baby," she slurred, evidently very sleepy, but I smelled alcohol, too. This concerned me. I noted the wine glass and empty carafe on the opposite side table, and grimaced. She noticed my disapproving glance, and proclaimed, "I only drank tree glashes!"

"Oh, Bella, you are too easy a drunk."

"No I'm not, Edshward," she said loudly.

"Yes, baby, you are intoxicated."

"Fut you, Eddie!" she yelled.

I picked her up and folded her over my shoulder, took two steps, and flopped her down on the bed. She groaned and slapped me on the back.

"Let me go!"

"Bella, I HAVE let you go. You are on the bed. And you are very intoxicated."

"I am not intochitated!" she protested.

"Okay, Bella, you are 'buzzed'," I argued.

"So not buzzhed."

"Okay, Bella. Stone cold sober, you are. I am, uh, tired from my hunt. Can we sleep now?"

"Poor Edshward. Yes, sleep. I'll sleep with you now, baby."

"Thank you, Mrs. Cullen. You discharge your wifely duties well."

"Yesh, Mishter Cullen." She yawned and I smelled the alcohol again more strongly.

I curled my arm around her chest, making sure not to touch her breasts. She moaned low, but soon fell asleep. I smiled into her hair and inhaled deeply.

My Bella, intoxicated by four glasses of wine in three and a half hours. A human booze lightweight.

Alice would be very amused by this evening. However, I would not share this episode with her.

I listened to her regular breathing, and when it dropped to 14 respirations per minute, I knew she was deeply under. I moved into the bathroom, closed the door and moved to the bathroom window. I pulled my cell phone from my pocket, and dialed Carlisle and Esme.

"Edward? Is everything okay?" Carlisle had a edge of concern in his voice.

"Yes," and I chuckled. "I went hunting and Bella got drunk while I was gone."

"Edward, she's not a big drinker, is she?" Esme asked.

"No, she's not. Esme. I think she was lonely – and a little scared – to be alone after nearly seventy-two hours continuously with me."

"Edward, that's sort of charming," Carlisle added with a guffaw. "She must have really missed you, and drank the wine to 'fortify' herself."

"Carlisle, she was slurring her speech, and denying it. She actually got testy with me!"

"Have you ever seen her drunk before?" Esme asked.

"No, I can't say that I have."

"Then it was fear, Edward. She was scared without you, so she emptied that wine bottle."

"I guess I understand her anxiety. Strange place, far from home. But I heard she drank too much tequila in Forks at one of Mike Newton's parties when his parents were out of town. She told me she was groped by some college guy in his kitchen, fled, and locked herself in the downstairs bathroom. I don't think Bella is a fan of alcohol, except that dark Irish ale."

Esme quickly added, "Guinness Extra Stout, Edward. She likes the taste. There's a case for her in the back of the Escalade with the other groceries for the cabin."

"Thanks, I'll monitor her intake at the cabin tomorrow and thereafter."

Carlisle spoke up again. "Edward, talk to her tomorrow morning, when she's sober. She will more than likely be completely honest with you. Be prepared for her embarrassment. Order her breakfast with lots of fat – scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, strong coffee. Old hangover remedy, with naproxen or ibuprofen."

"Thanks, Mom and Dad. Thanks for listening. I may not have cell service at the cabin, but they have a landline phone at the nearby store in Healy."

"Stay in touch, Edward," said Carlisle. We all love you and Bella. Give her our regards."

"I will. Bye."

The line went dead. I pocketed my cell phone and returned to the bedroom. Bella was still soundly asleep. I watched as she rolled to her side and threw her arms around a spare pillow, murmuring "Edward.."

My head snapped up toward the sound. She was dreaming. About me.

Images shot through my brain. The first time I saw her and realized her mind was closed and silent to me. The interminable burn in my throat whenever she was near. How I learned the burn was a clue about her other, more mundane appeal. As 'mundane' as it might be, her sex appeal, to me, was a powerful force. In those early days of getting to know Isabella, I wavered between wanting to consume her blood and ravage her body with carnal ferocity.

Yet, it was with some dismay that I recalled our wedding night, just over twenty-four hours ago. How afraid I was of physically harming her, juxtaposed against how badly I craved her sexually. The dichotomy paralyzed my body because my brain was warring against itself. Lust. Protection. Sexual desire. Anxiety.

How Bella knew innately what I was experiencing, I'll never know, but she amazed me. She "talked me down", she kept telling me she knew I couldn't harm her. She physically moved against me, took control, reassuring and encouraging me. When I felt her silken warmth surrounding me, it was overpowering. I heard myself growl pathetically, but she kept talking and touching me.

This woman was custom-designed for me. I would never love another. I would treasure her always.

I lay on the bed next to her as she slept. She was still in REM sleep, and her eyes were rolling around beneath her lids, which made her tiny perfect individual eyelashes tremble. I watched, fascinated, wishing I could rest as peacefully. Slowly she rolled over and her right arm flew up and landed on my left forearm. She smiled in her sleep and murmured, "Ed—ward...kiss me."

How could I resist? I leaned sideways and kissed her as gently as I could on her slightly parted lips. She responded by smiling ever-so-slightly again, moaning softly, "I love you."

I leaned forward and kissed her forehead, whispering, "I love you, too, Bella." I felt an emotional surge I'd never experienced before. Was this the "pair bonding" the couples in the Cullen household felt all these years? Is this why I rushed to hunt - to return to my anchor, my mate? My other half, she who makes me feel whole after over a hundred years of miserable, lonely solitude? I could never convey to her how deeply I loved her.

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Bella

I awoke suddenly. I sensed Edward was back. I opened my eyes and found myself staring into his now gloriously golden amber eyes. His mouth curled up into his signature crooked smile. I sighed, "Did you have a good time hunting?"

His eyes crinkled as his smile brightened. "Elk and musk ox. I couldn't drink fast enough. I wanted to get back to you."

His earnestness made me want to weep with joy. "How long have you been back?"

"A little over three hours."

I glanced at the clock on the mantlepiece. "Then you saw me in the chair?"

"Yes, Bella. You were ornery and a little intoxicated. I carried you to bed and you were verbally feisty."

His smile dimmed, and I felt my breathing catch.

"Oh, God, Edward. I'm so embarrassed. I drank four goblets of wine – that whole carafe. I should've stopped at two. Edward, did I say anything stupid to you? You must disregard it, if I did. Please."

"Uh, Bella, you just denied up and down that you were drunk. You were slurring your speech."

I buried my head in my hands in shame. I had been drunk and my new husband carried me to bed and tucked me in, while I bantered at him!

"Oh, Edward, I am mortified.. I am so sorry."

He laughed out loud at my discomfort. "Why did you drink that whole carafe, Love?"

"I missed you. I was lonely. I was hoping I'd be asleep by the time you got back."

Edward leaned into me and tucked my body flush with his. He kissed my neck tenderly, just behind my left ear. "Bella, I was gone three hours. Yet you missed me THAT much?"

I shook my head defeatedly. "I'm a mess without you right now I'm afraid. It's like I couldn't take a deep breath...you are necessary to me now. I just don't know quite how to explain it."

He spoke up excitedly. "I know what you mean! I feel exactly the same way! I feel empty when I am away from you. LESS than I am with you. You feel this, Bella?"

"Yes. My heart hurt while you were gone."

"I was thinking about the pair bond the others have at home. We must be experiencing that, Bella."

"Edward, our marital bed is very powerful to me. I have to be honest - I didn't expect much. And that is NOTHING against you! I just thought as a virgin that I would not respond or hope for any kind of climax for myself. I mean, for men, it's hard-wired to climax. I expected nothing...but what I felt was amazing and you were not selfish at all..."

He pulled me against him again, and kissed me with a fervor that signaled his arousal. _What had I said?_

"Bella, my sweet, sweet darling. Your pleasure is my first and overriding concern. Always."

He pulled me off the bed to stand beside him. He pushed the thin microfiber robe off my shoulders, revealing my silk lavender camisole edged with lace. He smiled crookedly as he exerted only enough force to rip the camisole down the center front. He pulled it away from my body and tossed it on the rug. I quickly slipped out of the matching lace panties. I stood before my husband naked and without shame.

I leaned toward him and unbuttoned his black shirt, pushing it past his shoulders. He shrugged it off.

I was halfway now to seeing him naked, too. I reached down to pop the buttons on his jeans by feel, as our gazes remained locked.

He took my fingertips and placed them to his lips, kissing them softly, one hand at a time. He pulled off his jeans rapidly. As my eyes glanced downward, I was taken aback. My Edward had gone hunting commando!

It was my turn to smirk, "Nicely done, Edward. Did you impress the elk?"

He reacted quickly. I was on the bed in a flash, flat on my back. He parted my legs with his knee and leaned down to kiss me deeply. His kisses trailed to my forehead, my hairline. I could hear his soft laughter.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he obliged by pressing himself into me about halfway. I flexed my pelvis upward, and he was sheathed inside me almost instantly. I heard him groan with pleasure.

Then the hurry ended and the slow languid torture began. He steadily but slowly nearly withdrew and just as slowly pushed back in to fill me totally again. The seventh stroke he changed his angle and I moaned out loud in delight. He sped up and I cried out, "Oh, God, don't stop..."

"Bella...only for you," he gasped.

As I cried out, "Edwaarrd," I felt my muscles clench around him. He took two more strokes and I felt the powerful streams of his semen fill me. He rolled slightly to my left side, and wrapped his arms securely around me. He kissed me softly between my eyebrows.

Are you okay, Love?"

"Never better," I breathily managed, between deep inhalations of oxygen.

He rolled me, facing him, and kissed me sweetly, on my mouth, my chin, the tip of my nose.

He was suppressing a big grin. He had now learned perfect control of his body and his strength, and he was absolutely exhilarated.

I could have been the leader of his pep squad at that moment.

I had no idea intercourse could be this wonderful. I felt tired but unbelievably happy. My husband was in perfect tune with my body, as well as with his own. Realizing that our warm cozy honeymoon was quickly coming to an end, I dozed off in his arms.

I awoke the next morning, and he was sitting on the edge of the bed, fully dressed, his hair damp and dark. I sat up, too fast. Ooh, did I have a headache...

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Edward

"Breakfast is here, Mrs. Cullen."

I pulled the small cart up to the bed. Bella didn't look so good. She sat up slowly with her eyes still closed.

When at last she peeled her eyes open, I handed her the two percent milk with one hand, and two naproxen tablets with the other. She murmured a thank you and swallowed the pills, chased by the milk. I got her to eat most of the scrambled eggs, one sausage patty, and two cups of coffee. She ate a slice of buttered toast with her third cup of coffee.

After the third cup of coffee, she excused herself. I heard the shower running. I pulled out clothes for her to wear for the trip to the cabin. Cotton underwear, silk thermals, polarfleece pants and a zip-neck polarfleece top. A hooded North Face expedition jacket. Waterproof, polarfleece-lined gloves. Then I packed up the rest, retrieving her wedding dress from under the bed. The hotel concierge would be shipping it back to my parents in Seattle; the humidity changes at the cabin would not be kind to delicate vintage cloth.

It was 14 degrees outside at 0730. We had a 115 mile trip to the cabin near Healy, just outside Denali's north entrance. About three hours, and we would be there.

Bella exited the bathroom, her hair dried in waves. She dropped her robe and began dressing in front of me. I marvelled at her body as she dressed, and the very confidence she exuded now in my presence. I watched as she wiggled her butt pulling on the silk thermal bottoms - she knew I was watching her!

She shot a look over her shoulder, "That was for your viewing pleasure, hotshot." I burst out laughing. My wife, the budding burlesque queen!

As she struggled into the rest of her three layers of clothes, I gathered all of our belongings (including the suitcase of sexy lingerie from Alice) and set them down by the door. We left our honeymoon suite ten minutes later, and were in the Escalade with a full tank.

I leaned over and kissed her. "Are you ready for the icy cold cabin? I'll do my best to get it heated and keep you warm. "

"You are my home now, Edward. My heart and my life, I trust to you." She gazed at me evenly with those big brown eyes.

If I had the capacity for tears, I would have wept at her devotion. I would do anything to keep her safe. We pulled out onto the highway, and headed for Denali.


	10. Chapter 10 Old Friends

Chapter Ten Old Friends

Hello, people. Long time, no see. The newlyweds are headed for the cabin, with one stop. And new voices!

**Edward and Bella belong to Stephenie. Florence and Granville and all situations belong to me. **

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**EPOV  
**We rode south toward Denali National Park in companionable silence. Bella turned on the satellite radio five miles out and the news came on. She shifted nervously in her seat.

"...GNN update on the Northwestern United States viral epidemic. Reports via phone from reliable sources confirm nearly five thousand deaths from an as-of-yet unidentified strain of the Marburg-Ebola virus. So far twenty-six hundred deaths are persons over fifty years of age, two thousand of those are nursing home residents. Six hundred deaths are children under the age of five. Some four hundred deaths are young people under the age of thirty, over two hundred fifty were tobacco users, another one hundred had asthma or other lung problems. Fifty young people apparently had no health issues.

GNN reports the virus may be confirmed soon in Vancouver, British Columbia. The boundary breach is distressing to the Canadian government, but no official statement has been released. GNN will update on the half-hour or as the situation warrants.

Turning to other national news..."

Bella switched the sat radio to Sixties Sounds. Donovan was singing _Atlantis:_

_Knowing her fate, Atlantis sent out ships  
__To all corners of the Earth. On board were the Twelve,  
__The Poet, the Physician, the Farmer, the Scientist,  
__The Magician and the other so-called gods of our legends.  
__Though gods they were  
__And as elders of our time choose to remain blind,  
__Let us rejoice and let us sing  
__And dance and ring in the new.  
__Hail, Atlantis!  
__Way down, below the ocean,  
__Where I wanna be, she may be...*_

I wondered if the cabin was our Atlantis, our paradise. Doomed? Salvation?

If Bella was the Poet, then I was the Scientist mentioned in the song. I wondered if she'd agree.

She sniffled a few tears after the radio report, and just barely audibly, she muttered, "The virus is chasing us, Edward."

"No Bella, it's over 1800 miles away. I will keep you safe, it will be fine at the cabin. No neighbors for fifteen miles. Closest people are the Shedds at Healy Grocery."

"Edward, I think it's a losing battle."

"NO! Bella, I will **not **allow it."

She looked away from me and gazed out over the dashboard as she folded her hands in her lap. "Okay," she said almost in resignation. I think she did not wish to spar with me verbally.

I could tell she did not believe me. Such a pessimist, my little Bella, my beautiful but feisty wife.

I watched her unlatch her shoulder belt and climb into the backseat. She rummaged through the Book Warehouse bags and climbed back into the passenger seat with a five-by-eight inch Moleskine and a Pentel gel pen.

She opened the Moleskine, steadied the pen and wrote carefully.

**Bella's Journal  
**March 18.

We are on the Park Highway headed toward Denali. The news says almost 5,000 have died near and around Seattle, Tacoma, Olympia, Puyallup...and it may already be in southwest Canada. I'm really starting to get scared.

Are we now so isolated that no one can infect me? Can Edward smell this microscopic thing?

Can Edward protect me from this tiny virus - if not, will he let me die in his arms, too principled to save me the way Carlisle saved him?

Would I even be an adequate immortal mate – I think he is happy with me now, but later ?

Could I be enough for him, cold, stone-like, and no human scent, no blood ?

The more I think about it, the more terrified I become.

I hate being cold. He says he will heat up the cabin, but how...there cannot be any electricity out there.

He's bound to have thought all of this out in advance. I just need to have faith in his compulsive attention to detail.

**EPOV  
**"Bella, I _have_ stationery. Or is that your diary?"

"Journal, Edward, _journal._"

"An _adult _diary?"

"Whatever, Edward!" She was annoyed with me.

I was intensely curious as to what she'd just written. But prying was a breach of trust, and God knows, her trust was the thing I valued above all. Without her trust, I would have no love. And so I plunged in.

"Any questions about our life ahead - the cabin?"

"Yes, plenty of questions. I'm afraid of getting cold, and not being able to feel warm again. How will you manage that, Edward?"

"I called our Denali coven friends. The road to the cabin is plowed, and they've started a fire in both fireplaces. My criteria is 50 degrees fahrenheit in the cabin You will use the insulated sleeping bags.

There's no snow due for at least the next ten days.

Carmen and Garrett have already deployed the solar panels on the roof. We will be able to use the power from the roof panels to heat water, use the oven, charge cell phones, and my computer. There's also a landline phone in Healy at Granville and Florence Shedd's grocery store - that's 15 miles from the cabin.

If we get a bad or freak winter storm, we'll retract the solar panels, to protect them, and wait it out. We'll then use the propane tanks for alternative power. The propane tanks are exchangeable at the Shedd's Grocery store, if we use them up.

Redundant power sources, Bella. There are plans for every contingency. I can obtain firewood 24 hours a day. I'm installing a sat-link for the cell phones and computer. If that fails, we can call home via the landline at the Shedds in Healy."

She fell silent as we drove on the hard-packed snow in the Caddy. I let the topic go as we listened to an alternative song:

_It's one of those nights  
where something out there keeps me alive.  
__But I don't know where to go,  
So I guess I'll sit and stay here for awhile  
__Til I figure it out!  
__So let the wind blow us to wherever  
__it says we are supposed to go...** _

Finally I could no longer endure her silence, "Bella, please talk to me."

**BPOV  
**Oh, Edward is so worried. The mental silence must be getting to him. No chatter from other humans, Alaska must seem like a vacation for him.

"What do you want me to say, Edward? You've been to this cabin before, and you know what to expect. I don't have the foggiest notion of what I'll see there, okay? I have your assurances that you'll heat and power the cabin, come what may, and I trust you implicity. I am just waiting to see how we will be living."

I tilted the seat back and pulled the jacket hood over my head, in an effort to take a brief nap, and to signal him I'm tuning him out. I was tired of Edward's attempt at conversation when I was unable to reassure him of my comfort level.

But I immediately felt his eyes on me and I wondered if he thought I cut him off rudely. He seemed anxious, and again I'd inadvertantly discounted _his_ feelings. I pulled my jacket hood back down and turned toward him as he drove.

"Edward, please relax about this. It will be _fine_. I'm just going to try to nap a little now. I am still a bit hungover from the wine last night."

He quickly asked, "Do you want to stop in Healy for coffee? I can introduce you to the owners, the Shedds."

"Okay by me. Coffee in Healy it is."

Edward at last seemed placated and I lay back to nap, pulling back up my jacket hood, and sticking my fingers in the handwarmer front pouch. The heated seats in the Escalade made feel like I was in a warm cocoon.

My husband put on a CD and when I asked what it was, he told me, _Rubenstein in Moscow._ Edward loved live piano concerts. I watched the fingers of his left and right hands play notes alternately on the dashboard as he drove. It made me wonder if there was a small piano or an electronic keyboard in the cabin. It wouldn't surprise me if there was. I'd never known Edward to go a week without playing.

I dozed off finally. Too soon I heard Edward's soft voice entreating me to awaken. "Wake up, sleepyhead. We're here, Bella. Coffee awaits, Love."

I jostled awake, pushing my hood down and running my fingers through my long hair. I flipped the visor down and opened the mirror to make sure I looked presentable. I hated raccoon eyes with a passion, and moistened my fingertips to remove the mascara smear.

I looked out the window at the painted sign _Healy Grocery. _Small neon signs glowed in the store window: _Phone. Beer & Wine Sales. Lucky Times Lotto. A_nd one you never saw much in Seattle, _Local checks welcome._

Edward opened the passenger door, caught my eye and smiled, "Good nap?"

I yawned and nodded, "Yeah, pretty good little nap. Coffee sounds great."  
He took my hand and I hopped down from the Caddy. We walked into Healy Grocery together.

An older gentleman, in his early sixties apparently, stepped out from behind the counter, wearing faded Levi's and a black and red tartan flannel shirt. His hair was dark brown, heavily peppered with gray. He smiled broadly at both at us.

"Edward! We haven't seen you in about two years! Who's your young lady friend?" Apparently this was the owner, and he knew and did not fear the Cullens. He certainly came to the point quickly, and Edward was laughing too.

"Good morning, Mr. Shedd. It's been a while since I was up here in Alaska. This is my bride, Isabella. We got married three days ago, in Fairbanks."

"Your bride? Oh, my word, Florence will be beside herself when she sees you're married. And glad to meet the beautiful girl who's captured a Cullen's heart!"

A woman suddenly appeared from the swinging door next to the coffee pots. She had strawberry blond hair tinged with white, dressed in a white turtleneck beneath a faded yellow gingham dress that fell well below her knees. Her sleeves were pushed up to her elbows. She had obviously been working in the kitchen. She pulled her apron off and laid it on a stool.

"Granville! What's all the ruckus about? Oh, Mr. Cullen... Edward. And who's this pretty brunette you've got with you? Not your bride! Don't tell me the Cullens have been holding out on us!"

Edward replied, "Yes, Miz Florence. This is Isabella, or Bella, as she prefers to be called, and she is the newest Cullen. She's Charlie Swan's daughter. He's the Police Chief in Forks, Washington. He flew up from Washington with my parents to give Bella away at the wedding in Fairbanks on Monday."

Florence stepped forward and embraced me lightly. "Congratulations, Bella Cullen. I know Edward's been waiting to find his ladylove for quite a while."

_The familiarity of her remark shocked me. Did Florence and Granville Shedd know the Cullens' secret?_

Florence wisely changed the subject and continued, "Bella, do you miss Washington? It doesn't rain near as much here."

"Well, no, Mrs. Shedd. I don't miss the damp cold of Forks, but it was never as cold there as it is here in Alaska. And yet, just to be with Edward...weather doesn't really matter. Anyplace will feel like home." I could feel Edward's eyes on me without looking at him.

Florence elbowed her husband. He leaned over and kissed her forehead.  
She looked at me. "We have fresh coffee, Bella."

I accepted the tall mug and and added cream, stirring. I took a sip of the hot liquid, then took the mug in my hands as I turned to look around the store. They had canned goods, flour, baking soda, spices, and pots and pans hanging from the ceiling. One of the best candy aisles I'd seen in awhile.

Edward appeared at the end of the aisle with a hand-basket. "Get whatever you want, Bella. Please."

_I'm the kid in the candy store!_

I grabbed a dozen Nutrageous bars and dumped them in the shopping basket. I took another big sip of coffee, and grabbed a couple of Milky Way Dark bars, and several Peanut Butter Cups. Ah, why not make it an even two dozen? If I got any more, Edward might think I was a pig. I wasn't a pig, but I was definitely a chocoholic. So I left the candy aisle and looked at the liquor.

I had a case of my favorite Irish beer in the truck, part of the grocery gift from Carlisle and Esme. I looked at all the alcoholic beverage mixers and I smiled, remembering a night out with Angela, Ben and Jake. I drank Black Russians and Margaritas, just four mixed drinks and I was pretty drunk. I liked the Black Russians best. I grabbed a bottle of Kahlua and Gray Goose vodka, and a two-liter bottle of Coke. Ooh, they had Bailey's too. I grabbed a bottle of that, too. Bailey's was great in coffee!

Chocolate and liquor. The top of the food pyramid?

I glanced at Edward and he was grinning indulgently at me, happy that I was having fun. I doubt that he had ever tasted liquor as a seventeen-year-old human in 1918.

**EPOV  
**Bella was so cute, thinking about our self-imposed isolation and stocking up on little luxuries. I added another dozen candy bars when she wasn't looking. Thirty-six. One for every week, maybe?

She had selected three bottles of liquor and some Coke Zero. We met at the counter. She was talking animately with Florence Shedd about her pasta machine. I saw Mrs. Shedd packaging up what looked like semolina lasagne and vermicelloni. There were fresh cheeses, too, and something frozen that smelled like meat.

I paid for Bella's goodies and we said our goodbyes and headed for the cabin. She reached over and stroked my right forearm and smiled.

"Thank you, Edward, for being so generous."

"Anything for you, Bella. Anything." I drove on. Fifteen miles of rough gravel road at 20 mph, to lessen the jarring impact on Bella, and we would be at the cabin. I hoped Bella could maintain this mood of contentment and optimism.

~~~~l+l+l+l+l+l+l+l~~~~

In anger, he'd broken the bonds holding him onto the cold steel exam table, which was covered only with a thin padded foam mattress. He paced the small cell-like holding area.

_It feels like a fucking jail. A jail where they stick needles in me whenever they want._

He ran the perimeter of the airtight acrylic walls. He felt the negative-pressure atmosphere of the air from the vents blowing on him continuously. As if _he_ was the contagion.

_No, I'm the cure. Ha! _

He paced faster, becoming more anxious and increasingly agitated.

As he reached the plexiglas solid door, he caught a bit of speech in his head.  
_"We're heading North. Someone may in danger from The Cold Ones."_

He rammed the plexiglas door and it cracked a bit at the hinges.

A klaxon alarm sounded. Loud, very loud.

Four men in biosuits entered, their heads covered with astronaut-like helmets, oxygen tanks strapped to their backs. They surrounded and overpowered him quickly, and he fell prone from their assault.

A needle quickly entered the taut flesh of his left gluteous muscle.

_Tranquilizer! _He felt himself losing consciousness. He thought as he went under, _Save her. Go North, save her. _

One of the men cursed. "Shit! What is with this guy? Every time we tranq him, clumps of this this weird thick reddish hair fall off his belly. Fucking freak!"

~~~l+l+l+l+l+l+l~~~

~~l+l+l+l+l~~

~l+l+l+l~

**A/N  
***Song Atlantis, January 1970, copyright Donovan Leitch.  
**song Streetlight, by Joshua Radin, from CD _The Rock and the Tide._


End file.
